Late at Night

Still around.......

2012-01-20T15:38:00.002Z

Yes, still around. Am thinking about a move back to LIGHTHOUSE. Need somewhere to publish some art work I've taken up. I haven't got the time to Blog in two places, so...........

2011-08-04T23:50:00.004+01:00

Since May 2009.............. Well, a lot has happened since then.

Been to Russia, had tea with The Queen, lost the love of my life............. for the second time.

Latest update...........

2009-05-05T00:35:00.004+01:00

May 1st…………

News from the Hyperbaric Room……… Oxygen Treatment Centre.

It was the worse cold I can ever remember and I needed to be right to start voluntary work with Merlin. I missed out on a weekend away with my family, but I just couldn’t have made the trip, let alone enjoyed their company. I somehow managed to make the last day of training and it was then that I found out that the other operator who had completed the course with me had dropped out. So what could I do ? Yep! A full week.

The first day, the Tuesday after Easter, was a bit of a blur. All of us new at the game, staff and members, then the Press walked in. Photographers, reporters, members there for first time treatment. Thank God you only have one ‘first day’. We survived…………….. just.

Day two, and our fist serious problem. What turned out to be a panic attack half way through an hour long session. Luckily the ‘dive’ was only to 5 metres, but we knew the member had suffered heart problems in the past so we took no chances and had to abort. A paramedic arrived within minutes and immediately put the member on oxygen, something she had already been breathing for the last 30 minutes. He was more interested in the chambers and our set-up rather than the lady with chest pains.

Week two and we found another trainee operator. She’s a recently retired nurse from our local Hospice. Safe hands and knowledge that will come in very useful. It was a five day week for me while the Treatment Manager showed the lady around and went into detail to get her up to speed, but she coped very well and will make an excellent addition to out little team.

I stole a weekend away and catch-up time with family and friends. I managed to see my daughter and grandson; granddaughter was at work. They are all fine. Then over to Cag’s sisters for a planned weekend of auction, bell ringing and antiques fair. Sound exciting, and really it was. Plenty of interest, good company…………….. and a fair bit to drink! On the Monday I dropped into the Exeter Treatment Centre, to check out some of the minor system problems we had run into. I ended up driving, or diving, their two chambers while their operator wandered off for a brake. Interesting.

I returned on Tuesday to another four days of work because our new addition had developed a cold, and that’s a ‘no, no’ where other peoples health is concerned. Thursday, and the manager ‘went sick’, well, not really, just stayed out of the way and left me to run the show. At least they know that they have cover should it happen for real. And it was interesting………….. with no problems............. thank God.

Life has certainly changed. A purpose has been found, and that's not all ???

Another first..............

2009-03-22T22:33:00.008Z

Another first today..................... and I kept my clothes on for this one.
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I took passage on a bus to the great city of Truro. Quite an experience. Memories of 25 years ago, my last such outing, came flooding back. The hardness of the seats. The way your cheeks tried to grip as the bus cornered. And the vibration ............ hmmmmm! Almost like sitting on a washing machine when it's set on 'spin'............. not that I've ever done that. At least I was colour coordinated, my purple coat matched the seat.
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I had it on my mind to look for a suit. I shall need one for later in the year. I don't want to buy it yet, just in case the Summer is unkind to my waistline or I build more upper body muscle (some hopes). It was good just to wander without the pressure of having to buy and the pressure of the weekday shoppers snapping at my heels.
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It also gave me time to people watch, a subject that never ceases to interest me. Looking at pretty girls, when I should be more interested in their mothers............ or even grandmothers. The mobile phoners, with facial expressions that go with happy or serious calls. People deep in their own thoughts, deep in their own worlds. The purposeful walkers, with only seconds to get from A to B. Those hurrying days are behind me now............ I hope.
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Looks like I've landed the voluntary work at the Merlin Project, helping in the hyperbaric oxygen therapy room. I have to attend two training sessions this week, ready for the official opening on the 14th of April. A little more added purpose to my life. Then next weekend, it's party time. An anniversary meal, and next day, a birthday celebration. Good company at it's best. I'm rather looking forward to that.

So, what have I been up to.................

2009-03-17T20:30:00.011Z

So, what have I been up to ........................... not a lot ! Not strictly true. I've recently been to an open day at the newly built M.S resource center, The Merlin Project, a few miles from St. Austell. I've been following the project ever since it was first put forward, and now, at last, it's about to open it's doors to the public.

It's the latest of about sixty centers, which provide a range of treatments and facilities for people with M.S. Over £2 million has been raised, mainly by the people of Cornwall, but there is still more needed ( isn't there always ) to fit out more treatment rooms, hydro therapy pool and conference center. http://www.merlinproject.org.uk/

I've applied to be a volunteer, perhaps two or three half days a week, doing whatever is needed and whatever I can. It will give me something to do and help put a little purpose back into my life. I've already been called back for an interview, so we will see what happens from there. I know they are looking for people to assist with the HBO chambers. They are rather like diving bells, where M.S'ers can breath oxygen under pressure. It's a system now used in many treatments for a variety of complaints, so it should be interesting............... and I do have the T-shirt. Fingers crossed.

The photo competition went well. No prizes, not even a place, but the pictures were well received and I was happy with that, for a first attempt. Another judge may have come to a different decision. It's all in the eye of the beholder.

I've been spending a lot of time at the beach recently, taking advantage of the beautiful weather we have been enjoying. Today I went further afield, to Vault Beach, about 10 miles along the coast.

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The far end of the beach is used by naturist ......................... so it needed further investigation. It's a long climb down and a long walk when you reach the beach. Sure enough, there were about a dozen naturists enjoying warm rays and a gentle breeze off the sea. Now I know what you are thinking. Did he?

Well the answer is "Yes". I just couldn't resist it. (Sorry Fi, no photos!!!) After a few minutes, it seemed perfectly natural. Even the odd 'strutter', that makes that unneeded walk, there and back, didn't even raise an eyebrow. So there you go, another 'first', and so early in the year.......... but it was a glorious day.

The other end of the beach. My bit of heaven. Crowded, isn't it?

Now to swim naked............. but it will have to be a little warmer than it is now.

Photo competition...................

2009-03-01T00:26:00.009Z

It's been a busy few days. Last weekend was spent with family in Devon. A visit to see my daughter first, then the rest of the time spent with sister-in-laws. One of them farms, and the family had been invited there for lambing. I didn't actually see a lamb being 'dropped'. One had just been born before we arrived and the twin arrived while we were in another shed, looking at the other expectant mothers.

Mother and lamb doing fine.

I've been working on the house quite a bit this week, finishing the repair work to the porch area. I'm now going to part roof it to keep the weather off, then hopefully that will solve the problem of dampness along that side of the building. It's not much at the moment, but it's best taken care of before it causes too many problems. I've also dug and cleared all the growing beds ready for planting in a few weeks time. Seeds have already been started, so fingers crossed for a good strike rate.

I've entered three pictures in our Photographic Club's open competition. Not that they will win anything, but it will show some of the other members what sort of photos I like to take. Mother and lamb is one and the one below is another.

I've called this one High and Dry.

The final one is something I saw last Autumn, just as the leaves started to fall and the grass started to brown. It's On Reflection, taken with a 'point 'n shoot', so I'm very pleased with the result.

I'll be interested to see how they are received. It really depends on the judge...................... and what he's had for tea. I shall be happy if they score over 12 out of 20. I'm sure the 'experts' will find a million and one things wrong with them.

And , how am I? Still not fully come to terms with the way that Cag died, or the part I play in the final act. Still angry at times, annoyed with her for giving up the fight, and yet knowing she had no choice in the matter. I thought I might find the answer in church. It's been a comfort, but the truth lies within me and only I can release, or give it up. That needs more time.

I keep wondering what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I'm spending far more than is coming in at the moment, but there are certain things that I need, for jobs that should have been done over the years and I never had the time. I'm not too worried about this year. I'm happy to treat it as a year of adjustment, but I will need to lay down certain ground rule by Christmas. I need taking in hand.

After midnight..............

2009-02-17T00:20:00.003Z

It's after midnight, still too early to go to bed. I've tried watching television, reading, I was going to say hot milk, but I'm not a hot milk sort of person.. There's nothing worse than fighting with a pillow, that feels like it's full of bricks, waiting for sleep to come.

Reality has hit home. It's an age thing. I've had to re-apply for a passport and it required a new photograph. There's nothing that bring home to a person how time has treated them than a passport photo. The shaving mirror never tells the truth, or perhaps you get too used to the vision of loveliness you see smiling back at you............. I jest !

Another tell tale sign was a white eyebrow. Yes, I found my first white eyebrow. They have always had a will of their own and now they are letting me down in other ways. Can you dye eyebrows?

I'm spending a few days with sister-in-law and her husband, this coming weekend, going over the plans for our Russian trip. Looks like I'm going to have to buy a suit, something I thought I would never be seen in again, but I look quite good formally dressed...................... and I can always be buried in it.................. what a thought !

My Laptop has just had a major failure. I get the feeling it's related to Service Pack III which I installed a day or two ago. I could well do without the expense of a new P.C but I just couldn't do without one now. Start, with the Fn key, has run all the tests and come up with a driver problem. Looks like an email to Dell, as M.Soft says there is not an update available to sort the problem. More waiting on others. I hate that.

An early night..........

2009-02-10T23:03:00.002Z

I must get an early night, and by that I mean before midnight. Twice in the last few days, I woken up at three A.M after falling asleep in front of the television. Last night it was MASH.

So, what have I been doing to keep myself occupied, now I am a man of leisure. Walking, when the weather is right, more than I have ever done before, even with the dog. I've had to buy a second pair of walking boots. The first pair self destructed after about 25 miles. The problem with buying cheap !

I've also bought a cycle. I live a few hundred yards from a cycle trail, so I would be silly not to make use of it. It's part of an old mineral rail line which ran from the town to the little port of Pentewan. There's a beautiful beach there which I fully intend to make use of in the Summer.

I've done some joining as well. A camera club, that meets weekly. A group of very keen amateurs, but a group with many different styles and subjects, which I'm sure I can learn from. And I've joined a local church. My family have always been associated with the church, so I've joined the congregation of a very old little church at a village just outside of town. It's names after one of the Cornish Saints, St. Mewan. I will be glad when the better weather arrives. I'd forgotten how cold old churches can be in Winter. The heating system was probably install when it was built, in thirteen something !

A busy week, with dentist, hair dresser, tumble drier to be repaired and fascia joints to be resealed, as well as usual shopping trips etc. I've also got to get my passport renewed, on the instructions of brother-in-law. We were going to Scotland later this year, but I think that's been changed. It's still his secret, but I know he has an American friend who is a travel agent, and there was some take about Russia a few weeks back, so you never know................ and I'm up for it !

Late at night...................

2009-02-07T00:29:00.004Z

I've had the joy of watching two of my favourite films this week. Pretty Woman and Shirley Valentine. I don't know how many times I have watched them, I only know that I will take great pleasure in seeing them again................. hopefully soon. Do you have favourite films?

The closing words of S.V made me think of how I feel at this time. My phrasing.........'I've been a husband, I've been a father, and now I'm me again'. What a daunting thought. While the rest of the country was gripped in snow and ice today, I spent an hour on the beach, reliving a walk of 30 years ago. Amongst the flotsam and jetsam of the tide, my mind was not idle.

How many people would be happy to have the possibilities I have now? I have responsibility for no one, I am responsible to no one. I owe nothing and am owed nothing. The world is my lobster !!!!

And yet I would exchange it in a second for.............................. well, you know what. But that can never be.

I've had a letter today from the Dept. of Works and Pensions (the D.W.P), to say that they have made an over payment to Cag in her Benefit entitlement. They are wrong, in the respect of the amount of payment they are asking to be returned. In fact there was a small overpayment, by two days, two hours and fifteen minutes. I have replied to their request, pointing out their error and asking them if a repayment is still required..................... and I bet it is.

Here I sit...............

2009-02-04T23:50:00.003Z

Here I sit, it's late at night, and I'm wondering where the last two months have gone.

O.K, so I've been spurred into Blogging again by two 'distant' ladies who just wouldn't leave me alone. Thank you both.

The funeral went well. A Civil Ceremony, as Cag would have wanted it, rather than a religious service. Music by Il Divo and Patrazio. Eats and drinks by The Holmbush Inn, thank you Nicky. I thought that best, as there were too many to invite back to our/my little home and I couldn't cater for more than a dozen. Not enough cups..................... or glasses, and sandwiches tend to curl if you're not careful..

Christmas was spent at my daughters. I seem closer, and she seems closer to me than she ever was before. She and Cag were very different, so lets say there was tension there at times. She had the most awful cold, so her partner had to cook dinner, and a very good job he made of it. Grandkids were great................. what more can I say.

New Year was a few days with S-in-L and B-in-L. They live in Bishopsteignton, high on the hill overlooking the Teign valley. Midnight we went out onto the balcony and watch hundreds of fireworks from reveler's parties in the houses below us. We joined in with rockets, and a toast to 'absent friends'.

I've been back to stay with them since then. Every few weeks, they visit my M-in-Law to get shopping and look after her accounts, so I asked if I could go with them. She was unable to travel to Cornwall for the funeral, so I promissed I would call on her as soon as I could. Duty done and the day went well.

Now a strange thing. I don't wish to imply anything, but I have a S-in-L who was widowed about two years ago, and each time I've visited Bisopsteignton, she has been there. I've another trip planned for the end of the month, and I know she will be there then. I've also been invited on a holiday to Scotland later in the year, and she has also been asked if she would like to go. Is somebody playing 'match maker' or is she putting herself forward? Now there's the question.

The future? Well, I've been written off as far as work is concerned. I have a small pension which I have taken early. The Government don't seem to want me to work, just to inform them if I find a job. That's how bad it is in this area. They are happy to make my incoming up to a figure that I can live on.......... with care, so I'm going to spend this year waiting to see what turns up.

Those thoughts I had, so many years ago, when I said I wanted to retire at 45 and go back to work at 65, keep running through my mind. Be careful what you wish for. It might just come to pass.

Like Arnie........................... I'll be back.

Greetings..........

2008-12-25T23:45:00.002Z

Just a quick note to wish everyone.............

Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and prosperous 2009.

Love, IanS.

Out and about............

2008-12-07T23:48:00.004Z

It's been a wonderful weekend, weather wise. I've skipped out for a couple of afternoons to take trips to the coast, only a few miles away, but seldom visited in the last few years. The sun was warm, but a cutting breeze did what was needed to blow away the cobwebs.
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It's been a dozen years or more since I've been on the harbour side at Mevagissy. There are far fewer working boats now than there were, and very few pleasure or visiting craft at this time of the year.

From Mev I ventured further along the coast to Gorran Haven and Vault Beach. There's a gated roadway that runs along the top of the beach for Coast Guard use, and I have memories of sexual harassment there one very warm after noon.............. but I didn't complain. It's a nudist beach on warmer days, but there wasn't a goose pimple in sight.

Next stop Carhayes Castle, hiding in the trees, with the lake full of water birds. Pheasants from the Estate were also making an appearance................. but I didn't manage to 'bag' one on this trip.

The beach at Carhayes was empty, and even in summer there's usually plenty of room. No brave dog walkers today, just a small number of cars, enjoying the view.

A little further on, Port Holland, a few cottages, two other people, and me with my camera. Beautiful views and solitude, something I've had precious little of in the last years since mobility became a problem. It's lead me to a decision, a need for some more appropriate footwear. Town shoes, mud and wet rocks are not a good combination, So a 'call in' at the Sunday Market on the way home has solved that problem. Walking boots and thick socks.

I shall be going back, but in the mean time, there are people to see, places to be, maidens to rescue, dragons to slay, varlets to vanquish, prayers to pray.

Step right up............

2008-12-05T23:32:00.001Z

“Step right up folks. Welcome to The Roller Coaster of Life……… climb aboard……………. take your seats…………. hold on very tight. Nobody get off ‘till the end of the ride.”

……………………….. and that’s been rather like the last two weeks for me. Ups, downs, sudden tight curves………………….. and a corkscrew twist, just before the last bend.

…………………………but I’m through it, and have some how reached the other side. Yes, I’m lost at times, angry at other times, and still not sure what I should be feeling. I’m told the pain never really goes away, and I’m more than ready to believe that. I hope I am able eventually to put my feelings into a box and only open it when I have the strength to deal with them.

For now, I’m content to see out the remnants of 2008 and hopefully make something of a new start in the New Year.

Those wishes I made so many years ago in my teens. To retire at 45, have 20 good years, then go back to work at 65. Well I’m not 65 yet, but in future I shall be careful what I wish for. I may just get it !

The sad news...............

2008-11-21T22:57:00.002Z

Just to let you know some very sad news about Cag.

She passed peacefully away on Thursday 20th November at about 9.45pm. She had endured a very difficult year, culminating with a massive M.S related seizure about three weeks ago. She never really recovered from this and has steadily declined since then. She was well cared for at home with the help of the MacMillan Service and the Community Nurses. She was unaware of her serious condition and slept quietly away while I was holding her.

Sorry to have to be the barer of such bad news but I thought you would want to know.

My very best wishes,

.............................. I thought this was the best way to let friends know, so I've copied the email for you all to see. I'm having a little time for myself over the next couple of days and will have to get back to the reality of life next week. Should be interesting.

The third week.....

2008-11-19T22:45:00.003Z

Is it really the third week? It seems like only a few days since Cag returned from hospital........ or a life time. The new week saw the turning point, from a little recognition, to coma. Monday, perhaps a little smile, but nothing since. Her breathing is fast and shallow, hesitant at times, then starting again. There can't be much longer to wait. I pray not.

The Liverpool Care Pathway sucks. It was designed to maintain a level of hospice care within the home. It seems to me to fulfill all that is required by the law, but lacks the true compassion to the patient. I watch the golden liquid of life draining into a bag at the bottom of the bed, see all the body mass disappearing, to leave bones draped in it's covering of skin. Not much dignity in that.

Strangely, I'm finding it a little easier to deal with. Perhaps it's the anger or perhaps it's seeing others dealing with their grief. Like the families of the fallen watching their loved ones coming home from war. It's certainly brought new thoughts of 'tears and handkerchiefs' home to me.

I am thinking about the future. Making a few tentative plans. A little 'me' time to find out who I am, and if I'm the same person I thought I was. I shall start to make inquiries tomorrow about possible income, as everything has been based around Cag's situation. I've bought a small car, as our five week old Motability car will have to be returned, and Cornwall without a car is not an option. So a few blocks are being put in place.

I'm dreading 'the arrangements' but simplicity will be the order of the day. Neither of us would want black horses or long faces. It just one more day. One broken spoke on the wheel of life.

The Final Countdown............

2008-11-13T22:23:00.003Z

The Final Countdown.................

The MacMillan nurse call on Wednesday. Dawn, her name, the start of a new day, or the bringer of tidings? She was very Totnessy, and if you know the town of Totnes in Devon, you would know what I mean. All cargo pants, tie-dye top, nose stud and hand made multi coloured shoes............. but a very nice lady. She did not pull any punches. She explained the situations and possible ways forward, but the end result was the same.

Today, Thursday, and I collected the necessary medication from the chemist. It's called The Liverpool Pathway. I shall pity the poor people of Liverpool for ever more. The nurse that came this afternoon was a little confused, but had all the necessary equipment and so set the wheels in motion, after my full agreement. Soon after she had started the doctor arrived, approved of my decision and said that he would be in touch later.

It was only when the MacMillan nurse phone, to see if I had collected the medication, that we found we had 'jumped the gun', and that the final countdown wasn't due to start until after the weekend ................ but it doesn't matter. There are no other options. Today, tomorrow, next week, the outcome will be the same, and I'm only too pleased to get this part of the terrible journey over with.

Tonight I stop the feeding and the liquid intake, so the term "It's just a matter of time" will then have it's true meaning. It's one of Cag's sisters birthdays, the 50th, on Monday. I do hope we don't spoil the day for her.

"And I dance, on the brink of an unknown future, to an echo from a vanishing past".

Into week two........

2008-11-10T22:56:00.002Z

Into week two, and spent the day pacing. After washing and changing Cag in the morning, there's very little to do except sit and watch. The weather has been dreadful, so even a walk around the garden wasn't possible. Cag's had a couple of choking episodes today, unable to clear her throat, stopping her breathing.............. frightening........... for both of us.

Our daughter and granddaughter came down on Saturday. It was a good day, and Cag managed a smile. She's been asleep since then, eyes open only briefly, but there's nothing there.

There was a meeting at the Surgery today, to discus the way forward with Cag's care.I will probably hear all when the nurse calls tomorrow morning. Dawn, a MacMillan nurse phoned this afternoon. She's calling on Wednesday afternoon. She said she would be waring a badge and a smile. "Anything else?" I asked.

I've heard they will be arranging for certain medications to be available here at home. To save them rushing around looking for things if needed. I can guess what it will be, but if Cag's breathing deteriorates too much, I can see hospice care being suggested. It's only five minutes away. Wonder what the rest of the week will bring.

Me? I'm O.K. Lumpy throat at times, annoyed I can't do more, wondering about the future, trying to keep busy, all sorts of emotions. Dreading some of the plans I will have to make............. but I'm O.K.......... ish.

The doctor cometh..........

2008-11-06T22:51:00.002Z

First let me thank those of you who commented on yesterdays post. I was more switched on when the doctor call today, so was able to come away with a little more positive news.

He answered all the general medical questions I asked, mainly about her care and what to watch for. I asked about a time scale and he replied that whatever he told me would be wrong. There were many possibilities. Because the body is not acting in the way it should, it will gradually shut down. This could be hastened by and infection or breathing difficulties, pneumonia etc, and of course, there was always the possibility of another seizure. It also depends on the will to survive or whether the body is just too tired to fight anymore.

In the mean time, we will make her as comfortable as we can and try to keep her mind as active as we can. A day at a time, and every day a blessing.

I will make my own enquiries about our local hospice. I used to be in contact with several of the nurses there as Cag attended their Day Care Centre for physio, but that was a about ten years ago. I have heard only glowing reports recently, but it has to be right for Cag, and offer more than I can give her here. I know that if I need a break, the door is open, and I only have to let our doctor or the nurses know. We shall see.

The end game...........

2008-11-05T22:58:00.003Z

It's been a difficult week. I tried to write a post on Monday, but I could only manage a few words, and they didn't seem to make any sense.

Monday was a busy day. The phone was indeed red hot, but it all revolved around the visit of our doctor. I think even he was shocked when he saw Cag. He had the treatment information from the hospital and brief details of what had happened. He made me go over exactly what had happened when the paramedic was here, and was truly troubled when I told him the amount of time Cag had remained fitting, well over an hour.

Bottom line is that this is the 'end game'. Well into the fourth quarter with no 'time outs' remaining. The doctor said he would arrange for anything I wanted. Whether Cag was to go into hospice care or remain here, with me looking after her, and daily visits from nurses. I am happy with the second choice. It's really very little more than I have been doing for months, and with the extra help, I'm sure I can do what is needed.

The offer of hospice care will be always there, should things become too difficult, or if I were to need a few days respite for myself. I can see where this would be of use, especially if this more intensive care was needed long term.

The doctor is returning tomorrow or Friday, and I have a small list of questions for him. In the mean time, the nurses are calling and have been helpful, especially in oral hygiene, something that seems to be sadly lacking in hospitals. We've arranged bed changing for Friday, and sex on Mondays and Thursdays........................ only joking.

..........)(..........

Three of Cag's sisters came down for a visit today. It's her birthday on Friday. They came loaded with cards, flowers and good wishes for both of us. They managed only a few minutes with her and all left the bedroom in tears. I don't think Cag would have noticed very much as she has spent nearly all day asleep.

I was really dreading it but managed to keep my control ..............well, most of the time. Our daughter phoned tonight. She and granddaughter will make the journey on Saturday. Another lumpy throat day to look forward to, but it is getting easier.

The real thing that annoys me is that I have had fifteen years to work out how to play this chapter, and thought I had covered all eventualities, but I could not allow for the weight of sadness that I've felt the last few days.

..........)(..........

So, America has made it's choice, a right one I think.

Now keep him alive.

Home............

2008-11-02T23:08:00.003Z

An ambulance brought Cag home on Friday evening. It was their last drop and by then she was pretty exhausted. I did no more than change her, get her comfortable, then see to her liquid intake and later her feed. Everything else could wait until the next day.

Saturday brought with it the full realisation of her condition. Physically there is very little change, except that there is practically no flexibility in her arms, and they are trapped across her chest. She has managed one or two words but that soon became just a nod or a shake. The medication she is on seems to make her sleep most of the time, so perhaps this is a blessing. A Community Nurse called in the afternoon, to check on pressure sores, but she is very new to the job and did only what I asked her to do. She did say for me to contact our doctor for a visit on Monday, but that was already on my list of 'Must Do'.

I phoned a friend today, Sunday, a fellow M.S carer. Her husband is in a similar situation to Cag, and she confirmed that I must contact our doctor, the team leader of the nurses, and my own care coordinator, to set wheels in motion A.S.A.P.

I know I shall probably need some help, either that or grow another set of arms, because there is just not enough of me physically to do all that needs to be done. I can wash and change, do all the other little things which are needed during the day, but hair washing, bed changing etc, is going to need two people.

So it's a busy day tomorrow. The phone will be red hot. I've not been left with much, but what I have will be loved and cared for, for as long as necessary.

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I'm sorry I'm not visiting my usual Blogs at the moment, but I'm sure all will understand.
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First response..............and update.

2008-10-27T21:24:00.005Z

I never expected Sunday to turn out as it did. Things had been going well for too long, and then life slips a Joker in the pack.

I'd just finished washing Cag and was about to get some fluid into her when I sensed there was something wrong. I looked at her, her eyes rolled up, her head went back and she had a fit. It lasted only a few minutes but in that time a paramedic was on his way.

Another few minutes and he was in the room with me. He began to check her over, then she went into a second fit. This time she did not recover and continued shaking until the second ambulance arrived. Then it was a dash to R.C.H. Truro.

I spent the afternoon with her in A & E but by then she was so drugged up to control the fit, I could do little but watch and wait. I got home about 6pm, just in time for a telephone call asking me to come back to the hospital. I expected bad news, but it was to go over the results of a CAT scan,then to update the doctors in the Medical Admissions Ward on her history, and what had actually happened.

There was been no obvious reason as to why it had happened. It could well have been caused by M.S, but other tests are needed to rule out all other possibilities.

Our daughter travelled from Torquay today and came with me to the hospital this afternoon. Cag's condition was no different from that of last night, but she was breathing without oxygen, and her colour was a little better. The Staff Nurse said she was showing some responsive signs but was still suffering the effects of the drugs given on the previous day.

I went back to the hospital tonight. Her eyes were open, but still only just conscious. She did, however, managed a few words, to complain about the noise the bedside machine was making. A more than positive sign and a good first response. She understood what I was saying and I even managed to get a smile before I left.

It will be a day or two yet before the damage that the fit has done can be fully confirmed. Hopefully her few communication skills with have survived but we must be thankful that she is here at all. It was that serious.

Sorry I can't finish on a more light hearted note tonight, but there will be other nights, and at least the few steps were in the right direction.

UPDATE............

It's taken 48 hours for the drugs to clear. Cag is responsive now but her speech is almost non-existent. The seizure seems to have done a lot of damage to the communication skills. The doctors are happy that they have done all that is possible, so they have started the procedure to get her home again. The sooner, the better............ for both of us.

I've done quite a bit of reading about what happened and it is not uncommon for this sort of seizure to go hand in hand with M.S. It may be a 'one off ' but it can be the start of more regular attacks. It's a case of wait and see.

Thank you for all your comments, they are truly appreciated.

Ahhh....choooooooo!

2008-10-20T22:44:00.003+01:00

I've been fighting off a cold for the best part of a week. The usual sore throat, irritating cough, not feeling too bad during the day, but really making it's presence felt in the evening and at night. Cag doesn't seem to have joined me, a good thing, but I have been careful and tried to keep it all for myself.

Today has been a flap. Contacting nurses, waiting for them to get back to me, visit from a Physio, and then a further visit from one of the Community Nurses when I'd all but given up on her calling. Cag's been having problems with the actual PEG. Because it's an open wound, it wants to heal, and sometimes does this too well. Over granulation is the term. Easy enough to deal with, now I know what it is.

Not much help from the Physio I'm afraid. We are doing just about all we can, and just to stay where we are, swimming against the tide, is some form of progress. She's going to check with our doctor, to see if an increase in medication might help to loosen the limbs to allow more exercise. It's worth a try, but I'm getting very little response from Cag, as if she just can't be bothered. I wonder whether I should?

I go to pick up a new car tomorrow, a free one.............. I jest. It's supplied as part of Cag's disability package. She is entitled to a mobility allowance and that takes care of the lease on a car. I asked what car she would like and she said 'gold', so a gold car it is and I get to choose all the technical bits. A French car, made in Spain, with a German engine, and Cornish dice hanging from the rear view mirror! European co-operation at it's best!!

Thoughts and considerations............

2008-10-13T23:43:00.003+01:00

I've taken advantage of the good weather over the weekend, to get out into the fresh air, do some walking and some thinking. I took the opportunity to walk around the estate, the hard way, through the fields now that the harvest is in, and was greeted by thousands of tiny, pale yellow, meadow violets. They had been hiding in the wheat. Now the sun can reach them, they, like me, were enjoying a beautiful day.

So, what about the thoughts and consideration, and the decisions I mentioned in my last post. To Blog or not to Blog.......... that is the question. I must write, at least sometimes. It's what Late at Night was all about. Something for me............... and I need 'me things' in my life. That not being selfish, more practical, somewhere to unburden myself when things get a little strained.

I'll use Lighthouse as well, to post a few pictures and perhaps a few items that I find amusing in the press or come across during the day. One today was a Council who spent £5,000 on special notices in Braille to inform the blind what shoes they should wear when they play squash. The next time you see a blind person playing squash, please let me know!

It's going to be a long Winter, and it doesn't look like there will be very much contact from what remains of our family. I doubt whether Cag is going to be able to do very much in the way of travelling before Christmas, if then. So our life will become even more isolated, the way of most people dealing with a form of disability. She doesn't appear concerned, and seems to be happy in what she is doing, so I must leave it up to her to decide when she wants to rejoin society.

As for the economic situation the world is involved in, I'm not worried. I have enough money to last me for the rest of my life. Providing the end of the world is before next Tuesday.

Serious considerations..............

2008-10-05T22:43:00.005+01:00

From the few other Blogs I read, I see that several others are in the same sort of situation as myself. The 'Shall I?' or 'Shan't I?' situation. It's not the Blogging doesn't 'do it' for me anymore, it's because other things in my life have move up the priority ladder, and my thoughts and attentions have been travelling in their direction. So serious consideration is called for about where do I go from here?

I accept the situation we now find ourselves in. I'm not disappointed for myself. I can find joy and laughter in the simplest of things, but I am saddened by my wife's condition. I'm sure with a little more fight, things could be so much better and more interesting for her, but there is no spirit there, just a greater acceptance than mine. So this is the best it can get, unless a miracle ............. ah! a good old miracle. That's what we need.

The good news is, the Remoska is brilliant. Another week of running the freezer contents down, then I should be able to use it every day. I roasted a selection of vegetables last night. The best I've ever tasted.................................

.................................... not quite finished, but you get the idea.

A moment of madness and I baked bread this afternoon, my first attempt. No, I haven't tasted it yet. That event will be at breakfast tomorrow. It's a shame that Cag can't get involved, but she shows no sign of being even slightly interested. It's beige goo for her again tonight.

Back to the original subject, where to go from here. Perhaps a clear out, re-naming, a new direction??? Re-invention, is that the answer? Others can do it, so I'm sure I can. Yep! A time for serious consideration.

.

UPDATE..........

The bread could have been a little lighter, but I know where I went wrong. It's still very edible and no worse than some I have tasted from our local Supermarket. So, if at first you don't succeed ............... you know the rest.

Where have I been?

2008-09-26T22:53:00.002+01:00

Last published September 7th....................... I know, I should be ashamed of myself. I, like so many others, seemed to have found myself in one of those 'looking for something new' situations. My life, since my wife returned from the hospital, has settled into an easily managed routine. The only addition to our needs has come from a neighbour who's husband has had a major bowel operation. I've been taking her shopping twice a week, and lending her an ear, oh boy, have I been lending an ear!

I'm accepting that probably now is the best that it will get with Cag's situation. Not quite in the 'last stages' of M.S but any setback now could be very serious. I don't think she has the strength to fight anymore. She has not given up and will not give up, but there is only so much a person can take. Perhaps the next dealer will bring more luck.

I've set myself a challenge. To cook with a Remoska. ( I can hear the question from here! Try Google). I've known about them for years and recently a few neighbours have 'invested' in them, with varied results. Most swear by them. Another used it once, blew the fuse, and plunged his home into darkness. He over filled it, it boiled over, and he has been afraid to use it since.

I mentioned that I was interested in one and he gladly offered me the whole kit, with two unused recipe books, for well under half price. I reluctantly agreed. I've taken it to bits, checked it over, and now it's ready to go............................... and after a weekend of scanning the Net, I will be too.

I find myself in the same situation as many single and elderly people, now that I only have to look to my own needs for food. I have a good breakfast, but I only have main meal during the day, around 6.30pm. I've been through the packets, the tins and the prepared meals over the last few months. Now I need to stretch myself, and get back to the joy I used to find in cooking. I look forward to it.

Note. Must watch Jamie Oliver next week.

Nearly a week.........

2008-09-07T22:51:00.002+01:00

It's been nearly a week since I last posted, a week of ups and downs. Generally, we are both fine, but that's not to say there haven't been problems.

The main difficulty this week has been Cag coughing about two thirds into her feed, around five in the morning (I feed Cag over night). I thought it may have been due to the different formula, one that she had tried in hospital, upsetting her, but I am now of the opinion that a ten hour feed may be too long.

I split the feed last night. I had to stop the feed around 700mls, flushed, then let Cag sleep for a couple of hours, and restarted the feed around 8am for a further two hours. That still left about 100ml short but I put that in manually with a syringe later. It seems to work, but I will check it out with the dietitian first thing in the morning, just to make sure it's O.K.

We had a visit from the PEG nurse this week. It was her first time in the area, so she was late, not being able to find us. She told, and showed me all the things I should have been instructed in while Cag was in hospital, so I'm a lot more confident in the whole system now, providing we can get this coughing sorted out.

Wednesday saw a visit from the outlaws, two of Cag's sisters. They came baring gifts, red wine and sticky coffee cake............ the perfect combination............ well I thought so! They hadn't seen her since she left hospital and were full of praise about how well she looked. Her skin is so much clearer and her hair shines, but not with hospital gained grease. Her colour is also very much better, with even a little rosiness in her cheeks. It's wonderful what a couple pints of beige soup and H2O can achieve. Wonder If Gordon Ramsey knows?

As for the rest of the problems, the pressure sores are on the mend, and I think I am going to have to accept that the limbs are never going to be as they were. We must make the best of what we have.

Sleeping on two feet..........

2008-09-01T23:00:00.005+01:00

I've been expecting all sorts of verbal chastisement for my failure to post since August 22nd. No excuses, I've been about, but have had very little to say about the last couple of weeks.

We've settled into a rather confused routine. Confused for me because doesn't seem to fit my body clock, and confused for Cag because she really doesn't know what is happening at times.

I am disappointed about the physical condition Cag was sent home in from the hospital. The retraction in her limbs is causing problems with lifting and shifting. Hopefully a little bending and stretching will gradually put this right over the next few weeks. Cag is also suffering some skin deterioration around the base of the spine. Not quite pressure sores, but could easily become so if not treated. Hence the sleeping on two feet.

Our Community Nurse has supplied an inflatable pressure mattress for Cag, which takes up over half the bed, and the 'two feet' is all that is left for me. It's back to dressings three times a week, but I feel happier having the closer contact with the nurses, especially in these early days.

Everything else seems to be working out O.K. Cag's put on a little weight, about 2lbs in the last week, and that's fine. The feed has to be adjusted. A little too much fibre, if you get my meaning, but that's very much trial and error. Apart from that, she's looking fine. Hair shinning and skin clear, with a good colour. Must be the beige soup.

One of my neighbours did leave me speechless a day or two ago. I mentioned about the beige soup that Cag was on, to which he replied that I must be saving a fortune, not having to buy food by getting it by prescription!

Friday...............

2008-08-22T23:17:00.002+01:00

I can't believe it's Friday already. Some parts of the week have really dragged, while at other times it's just flown by. The good news is that everything came together today.

The PEG nurse had phoned the next morning to make sure I was happy to do the feeds on my own. Today the dietitian called, to fill in a few gaps and to answer a couple of questions I had dropped on the PEG nurse. At least they talk to each other.

The food suppliers phoned and have arranged to deliver a months supply of the 'beige chemical soup' on Wednesday of next week. Finally, Tina, one of the community nurses asked if she could drop in on us to sort out what was needed from them and what back up they would be able to supply. She had been visiting my cousin, who lives two doors away, so it was a case of killing two 'old birds' with one stone.

I felt a lot happier after seeing Tina. She's known Cag for over five years and doesn't have to ask the questions that other would ask. She checked her out physically and told me what I must work on as far as physio is concerned, and what other problems to watch out for. So the future looks a little more rosy than it did a day or two ago.

It very much depends on Cag, and just how much effort she can and will put into her own recovery. It's not been a great deal in the past, but she is at a stage where choices soon will be taken out of her hands, and there will be no way back. I will do my bit. What else is there for me to do? At least I know there are others who can help.

On a happier note, I'm going to win £14 million tomorrow.................. well at least I've bought a ticket!

Home......... at last.

2008-08-19T23:15:00.005+01:00

It should have been yesterday. The discharge had been approved by the doctors after their morning round. Everything that could be achieved in hospital had been done. It was now a case of regular feeding and encouragement to eat a little by mouth.

A Monday morning is not the best time to try to arrange all that was needed, and as some of the equipment would not be there until later in the afternoon, so I was asked to collect Cag at eleven o'clock this morning. She would be dressed and ready................ and she was.

I was expecting a change in Cag, and of course there is. She's not so mentally alert or as physically strong as she was. Five weeks of doing nothing has taken it's toll. It's now up to me, us, to work with what we have and try for some improvement. Not an easy task with M.S.

I did feel sorry for her travelling home. I was sure there had been 'an accident'. One has a nose for this sort of thing. Sure enough, the hospital sent her home with a little surprise for me. I'm pretty sure she had been dosed with Senna, probably last night. It's not the first time I have heard of this. Of course, she wouldn't know. It's so easy to do through the PEG......... but a little warning would have been appreciated.

I've just finished setting up the over night feed. I've made about all the mistakes it was possible to make, but thankfully I did it here and not when 'the eyes' were on me. Cag is still a little confused, and still can't quite believe she is home. I see her glancing around, just making sure she is where she wants to be. Now the work begins, the physical and the mental.

Beats working for a living!

Wednesday the 13th............

2008-08-14T23:19:00.003+01:00

Thirteen, unlucky for some, but not us thank goodness. Cag has had the PEG fitted and all went well, very well. It really is a neat job, a small white plastic clip with the feeding tube running from it. Long enough so as not to be felt when the connection is made but easy to gather up when not in use.

Today, Thursday, Cag was very 'out of it'. It might have been a reaction to the operation but I'm guessing that the stay in hospital has treated her mind less well than I had hoped for. I saw the doctor about my fears and she thinks that she will probably recover her spirit after a few days at home, but I have doubts.

The Staff Nurse arrived, just before I was due to leave, and asked me to watch how the feed was prepared and administered. It took minutes. A machine delivers the feed, the correct amount, over a given time, usually done at night, so the recipient doesn't even know that the feed is taking place. Easy! I had asked Cag earlier if she had received anything via the PEG during the day, and she said she hadn't. The charts showed a different story, so she hadn't even realised she had been fed.

It's my turn tomorrow, with the nurse standing by and giving instructions. The next day it will be totally my turn, with all eyes on how I do, and if that satisfies the eyes, Cag may be allowed home on Monday.......... but if it's a day later or so, then that's O.K as well.

I understand it can be used for wine. Might even ask if I can have one............. but I like to taste too much, so that wouldn't work. But seriously, it will take adjustments on both our parts. I know I can handle what life brings, and I only hope Cag can cope with what comes her way.

Horizon in sight?

2008-08-12T23:32:00.002+01:00

For a Monday, it's been very positive. I was told last week that the PEG operation was down for this week. It was confirmed today. It will be tomorrow morning.

I saw the doctors this afternoon and signed the permission form on Cag's behalf. I did ask her once again is she was sure and she said that she wasn't, but there is no other option, and I did get her agreement finally. The doctor explained about the risks, the same as with any procedure, but really we have no other choice.

Providing everything goes well, she will be back on the Ward by 2 p.m. A few days for the PEG to settle down, to make sure it's working well, and then Cag can come home. Next Monday being the aim.

The rest of my visit was taken up with an interview with an Occupational Terrorist .......... I mean Therapist, who was checking if we needed any additional support when Cag gets home. Later we saw the Physio Therapist, who wanted to see how I managed to move Cag without the aid of a hoist. I lifted her out of bed, into her chair, and then a few minutes later returned her to the bed. No problem. I still doubt if she weighs more than 38 kilo, even with 4 weeks of feeding.

So now it's more waiting, but at least we have a date in sight, and something to look forward to. I still wonder what they will be sending home to me, but it's got to be better than the last four weeks. I'll keep you posted. X

It still goes on........

2008-08-06T23:39:00.002+01:00

I'm still driving daily to and from Truro to see Carole each afternoon. She's on a 1000 cals a day drip, plus whatever other food she will take orally. Without the drip I'm sure she wouldn't be here now. Her kidneys were very close to stopping work, which would have more than serious for someone with M.S. There would have been very little anyone could have done.

I managed to see the doctor today. They are so young, but seem to know what they are doing. She asked how Carole and I felt about having a peg, a stomach feeding tube fitted. I had only just finished telling Carole that as far as I could see it was the only way she was going to get home any time soon. Carole said 'yes' to the doctor straight away and I said I was all for it. It would take the pressure off both of us. She, with needing to eat and drink, and me, seeing that she has sufficient to sustain her. It was not a road either of us wanted to travel, so hopefully it may only be temporary.

So now it a case of waiting for the job to be done. Hopefully I will see the dietitian tomorrow and be able to discuss with her just exactly what Carole will be able to eat. Whether it will need to be a puree or just a soft diet. When and how to use the peg, and whether it will be a manual or mechanical method of feeding. All good stuff!

Apart from that, every thing is fine. I'm up to my eyes in peas and three types of beans. This rain has certainly done our garden a bit of good. I also took a trip out to the Citroen dealership today to arrange for delivery of the new car for October. Of course, they've changed the model and the price has gone up, only to be expected, but every thing's set now and wheels are in motion.................. so to speak.

I really can't wait for things to get back to normal, but I'm afraid that life will never be quite the same again. There is always a price to pay, but lets hope that the cost to our lives is within reason.

Requested update...........

2008-08-01T23:46:00.005+01:00

The progress has been slow, very slow at times. A few ounces gained and then a few lost. At last today some more positive news.

Cag was sat out today when I got to the ward, the first time. They had weighed her then left her in the chair rather than putting her back in bed. She is still very weak and about an hour was all she could manage, but It's a start. I managed to catch the Ward Sister and asked about plans as I need to let certain people know regarding the benefits we receive.

The Sister said that they were increasing the feeds by tube and increasing the amount Carole was taking orally. There was a possibility that she could be moved to our local hospital early next week but that would depend on bed availability. Progress was steady but she thought that Carole would be in hospital care for about another three weeks.

The Dietitian dropped in just before I left and she confirmed what the Sister had told me. She said that a PEG, a stomach feeding tube, was being considered, not so much for the food but to assist with liquid intake. Food in a puree state is easy to swallow, but a liquid can be difficult. It often goes down the wrong way.

Cag won't like it, but it would take a lot of responsibility and worry off me. I would hate to think she would slip back to what she was doing when she finally gets home, and knowing her, I could see that happening.

Now the question that is in my mind. Who will they send home to me? Not the person that went into hospital, mentally or physically. Her mind now is even more fragile than it was three weeks ago, and I can see that much of what she used to be able to achieve is now history.

Any set back for a person with M.S is serious. 'If you don't use it you loose it' applies even more to an M.S sufferer. It doesn't worry me. I know I will be able to deal with what they leave me but I'm so disappointed for Cag. When you have so little, every loss no matter how small is precious.

Happier days............ when striped pullovers were in!

A Mixed Weekend..............

2008-07-20T23:11:00.002+01:00

There's been a little change in our situation. A step forward, one back, then a little shuffle forward again. I managed to see the dietitian, and the consultant on Friday. The dietitian said that they would continue what they were doing in the way of feeding until after the weekend, then start to increase the intake a little at a time. The consultant was positive, but said that progress would be slow. We can live with that.

Saturday brought a surprise. Cag had managed to pull out her feeding tube over night. She was a little brighter but still very pale. The nurses were doing hourly feeds, with small amounts fortified desserts and thickened shakes, rather than replacing the tube right away. Cag was managing but I could see she was not happy. Her hands were very swollen, but that was due to the re hydration, and it should right itself as soon as she recovers a little more.

I really didn't know what to expect today. I wasn't surprised to see the feeding tube had been replaced. I understand there was quite a bit of coercion but finally Cag agreed. She was waiting for an X-ray to make sure the tube was in the right place before they could start feeding, and was still taking small amounts of food orally. I even managed tempt her with some soft chocolate.

She's bored and complaining, so I know she is a little better. And spending money! Strange how a woman can be very ill, in hospital, and still spend money. So hopefully the progress may not be as slow as the 'powers that be' thought. You know what retail therapy can achieve. We can but hope.

Shape of things to come...........

2008-07-16T23:54:00.003+01:00

It was the first day of visiting now Cag has been settled and is out of the admissions ward. It was a bit of a shock. She really looks very poorly. She was asleep when I arrived, head to one side, tubes and drips, and looking very pale.

She did brighten up when she knew I was there but soon drifted back into sleep again. The speech therapist arrived later and woke her to do a swallowing test. She managed but only just. Later on, a young girl, who said she was a doctor, came to take blood. She asked about Cag's history, medication she was on, and generally how she coped with life. She seemed to know a lot more than her years, but admitted she knew very little about M.S. She did say that it was going to be a long job, so not to expect very much, at least in the short term.

It seems the information I was given yesterday about it taking about three weeks may have been optimistic to say the least. I did my usual rounds of phoning the family when I arrived home, to pass on what little more news I could. They have all offered to come and visit, but there is little point as yet until the re hydration and feeding have had some chance to work. Hopefully soon, very soon.

And now a thought for the day. A woman should always marry an archaeologist. The older she gets, the more interested he becomes. Are there any women archaeologist out there? ;-)

The bad news and the bad news....

2008-07-15T23:45:00.003+01:00

Cag was admitted to hospital last night. She had a difficult day, and had a couple of bouts of not being able to clear her chest, coughing, almost choking. I was not happy about her situation so called the emergency doctor. He checked her over and phoned for an ambulance, saying that she ought to be looked at in hospital, the sooner the better.

I phoned this morning to find out how she was and was asked to go to the hospital to meet with the doctor, as she was refusing medical intervention. I was there by 10.30am but was unable to see the doctor until about 2pm, because of other emergencies. It gave me time to work on Cag and to get her to agree to accept examination and treatment. All she wanted to do was to come home, but if she does she will die, pure and simple.

She is now on a drip and has a feeding tube fitted, and I heard tonight that she has taken a small amount of nourishment this way. I talked with the dietitian before I left this evening and she asked me how heavy Cag was. I knew because I had weighed her on Sunday............ 32 kilos, about 5 stone. She did warn me that this was borderline and that feeding would have to be small and often. It may take three weeks or more to see an improvement, but at least something is being done ........ at last.

Cag is not the best patient. She is hating every minute of it, but I know I have done all I can here and she needs the sort of help the she can only receive where she is. I can't help feeling guilty at allowing her to go into hospital, but the alternative is unthinkable.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

I'll get back to you..........

2008-07-10T23:53:00.005+01:00

"I'll get back to you........." Oh how I hate those words, because it usually means you'll be hanging on and waiting for a telephone call that may never come. That's what the week has been like for me.

Yesterday, I'd had enough. Cag's eating problem has not been improving, no matter how hard we try, and we DO try. It's now a case of just a couple of spoon fulls of mousse, or sips of coffee, will set her choking, then urging, and then of course, she won't take any more. Her total daily intake of calories must be under 200 and liquid consumption below a pint. This situation can not go on. I phoned the doctor's receptionist and demanded a visit.

I was hoping for something a little more positive but there has been, perhaps, a little progress. The 'practice matron' called to see Carole. (Where do they get these names?) Needless to say, the name was Chris and HE was a tiny bit gay.

He arrived 45 minutes late, just as I was about to get Cag back to bed. She had been up an hour and was failing fast. He was one of these ........ "How are you feeling"................. leaning forward............... " how are you REALLY feeling?" type of people. To which Cag answered "Fine!"

He checked out her swallowing and he said that he thought it was o.k. Then he generally questioned her about how she felt about food, wanting to eat or not. Checked her for depression, cup half full or half empty sort of questions, then asked her directly if she felt depressed. Of course she said "No".

He brought with him a selection of high calorie drinks and mousse style deserts for her to try. She said she would try, and I said I would encourage her....... but I'm not holding my breath.

He's made arrangements to call again next Thursday, along with a speech therapist ( she's into swallowing and breathing techniques ), who he thinks may be able to help. I'm not very impressed with the idea, but we shall see.

So now it depends on Cag, how much she wants to do. Wish I was more excited about the prospects, but I can only do what she will let me. More waiting, more worrying.

Never mind. My new gin and tonic diet is working great. I've lost four days this week.

Great tits............

2008-06-24T23:02:00.005+01:00

At last, the children have come to the table. Our little feathered friend have brought along their offspring to show them where to get food, and what to do with it. Last year it was the robins and dunnocks, but it was the great tits, followed by their smaller cousins, that graced our bird table first.

A young blackbird took up position this afternoon and tried to keep the table as his sole domain. It showed no fear even when I went in close with the camera.

...........................................

I was expecting another phone call from the doctor this afternoon, but it didn't happen. I had managed to get in contact with the M.S nurse to discuss the best way forward for Cag. I was under the impression, as was the doctor, that she would be able to make a home visit, but this is not the case. She has nearly 700 people with M.S on her books and the only way she physically can be of help to them is by running a clinic at the County Hospital. If she were to make house calls she would only be able to help a small number, much smaller than if the person was to visit her.

She is having an assistant appointed, who will be able to cover the home calls but that won't be for several weeks. We will be on her list. The nurse was going to contact our doctor with this information, so I thought he may have called........ silly me!

We did discuss Cag's situation and she is of the same opinion, that the problem, although M.S related, is being caused by depression. She suggested I go back to the doctor and for him to visit to check things over with this in mind.

Cag has asked me to belay that for a few more days to see if she can shake the feeling herself, but there was not a lot of progress if today was anything to go by.............. but we shall keep trying.

A reminder.......

2008-06-22T23:05:00.003+01:00

I've been reminded that I haven't posted for quite a while. Well, I've been here, reading and searching but not really in the mood to put my thinking head on. I've put up a couple of entries on my other blogs, simple things, but my mind has been elsewhere.

Cags condition is causing a lot of concern. She's not eating enough, three to four hundred calories a day, and her liquid intake has dropped to a little over a pint. We've been waiting all week for a contact from the M.S nurse, even phoning the doctor again on Wednesday, getting him to re-fax information to her office. If there is no contact by Monday afternoon I will have to rattle some cages.

I'm not sure it's all to do with M.S. She has been very down recently. It usually happens at this time of the year, but there's no reason you can put forward for why. She has got swallowing problems, and has difficulty chewing, but I don't think these are the only reasons. I can see the need for a liquid food diet and even the possibility of tube feeding at some time, but hopefully not quite yet.

I half know what the nurses suggestion will be, high calorie booster drinks. Thick syrupy ill tasting things, that might look good on paper, for those who have never had to take them. Then will come the next problem, what will Cag take? She's always been picky what she eats, doesn't like this, or that, so there's going to be quite a challenge. Hates soup, hates milk, eggs, meat, gone off fish, vegetables, even chocolate. Quite a challenge!

Thing could be worse, I keep thinking of the situation if my mother had still been with us. I know I would have caved in under the strain. There is no way I could have gone through the operation and been able to look after two people. I'm finding my limitations, ones I thought I would never have.

I'm not a poetic person but...........

2008-06-14T23:47:00.005+01:00

I found this little poem in my daily paper and it rather stuck a chord with me so I thought I would share it with you........

The Kiss

"What other men have dared, I dare,"

He said. "I'm daring too:

And tho' they told me to beware,

One kiss I'll take from you."

"Did I say one? Forgive me dear;

That was a grave mistake,

For when I've taken one, I fear,

One hundred more I'll take."

"Tis sweet one kiss from you to win,

But stop there? Oh no!

One kiss is only the begin;

There is no end you know."

The maiden arose from where she sat

And gently raised her head:

"No man has ever talked like that-

You may begin," she said.

Thomas Masson 1866-1934

Friday the thirteenth............

2008-06-13T23:04:00.002+01:00

What have we done to deserve all this good weather. True, it's been a little chilly out of the sun today, a breeze from the N.W has seen to that. June has been turning out to be our best month so far. Makes me wish I was on holiday!

There's been very little improvement in Cag's situation. It's not swallowing difficulties but more a reflex action after the food is down. She takes a few moth fulls, and then is unable to eat any more without feeling sick. I rang someone I know who's husband has M.S and she recommended I contact the M.S nurse for the area.

It's meant going through our doctor, for him to make a referral, but that was not a problem, and he was already suggesting it before I asked. So we are down for a visit at the beginning of next week, for the nurse to set up a programme of support and advice. Sounds good, hope it works.

I know it's Friday 13th, and I'm not superstitious....... touch wood, but one or two thing did go wrong for me today. I found that a tin of Brasso had leaked in the car and it's taken most of the day to loose the smell. A milk container had somehow fallen over in the fridge and the shelf was full of milk. I knock the spoon in the sugar bowl, it catapulted sugar everywhere and the postman took £10.60 of me for Customs Duty and handling charge for a package from America. I've got my fingers cross that nothing else will go wrong today. There's still 29 minutes to go.

Some excitement...........

2008-06-05T22:53:00.003+01:00

There were police cars in the drive way when I went to fetch the papers this morning. I found out at the shop that a lady on our estate had gone missing. It appears she had rushed out of the home in a state of great agitation and was last seen disappearing into the woodland at the end of the road.

By the time I had returned home, dog handlers had arrived and a little later a helicopter joined the search. By mid morning several members of the Cornish Rescue Team had kitted themselves up and started combing the woods and paths.

It appears that the lady suffers with a mental problem and she hadn't been taking her medication. Her husband, who is less than useless, didn't notice any change in the way she was acting, although several neighbours said that she had been behaving strangely for the last few days.

She was found around mid afternoon, about two miles away, on a cycle path leading to the coast. Still very distressed and in quite a mess.

I haven't heard any more other than she was taken to hospital to be checked over and to sort out her medication. I expect the paper shop will be able to fill in all the details tomorrow.

It's the County Show this weekend, so although good weather has been forecast, we can expect rain. It always rains for the Show.

Caught out..........

2008-05-30T23:23:00.002+01:00

No posts for over a week. Yep! I've been caught out............. but I'm not the only one. I seem to be in good company, because my daily visits to favourite blogs have also produced very little reading. I have an excuse........... if only I could think of what it is!!!

We have had problems. My recovery has gone very well. Still a little sore at times, but I can live with that. I wish it were the same for Cag. I knew there may be difficulties if our routine was disrupted and sure enough Cag has re-developed an eating problem. She has 'gone off' food.

It's happened before, several times before, and there's very little one can do about it. Her appetite will return, usually in a few weeks, but it can be quite worrying when it happens. She's been living off a grilled tomato, half a peach and about four cups of coffee a day. Thankfully, in the last two days, we've been able to add a ham sandwich, eaten in two sittings to the fruit, so I'm hoping the little progress made will grow.

I think it's a combination of swallowing difficulties due to M.S and the mind. She has so little control over her life that the one way she can control what is happening is in eating. A temporary form of Anorexia perhaps? On previous occasions the doctor has prescribed tablets, which she won't take, and special high calorie drinks, which are ghastly. So it's progress in small steps for now, and fingers crossed that every thing will be back to normal soon.

We watched with interest the programme about Mary Whitehouse the other night. We were very friendly with one of her nephews when we lived in Brixham. I met her husband, a very quiet gentleman, and her youngest son, Christopher. He contributed to a 'write up' in the Mail this week, and is portrayed very much as I remember him from all those years ago. It brought back happy memories of a happy and less complicated time of my life. It's good to have these little nudges on occasions.

Wednesday 20th........

2008-05-21T23:17:00.003+01:00

They planted a neighbour today, or rather took him to the Crematorium for re-cycling. I felt more than sorry for the family. They had arranged for the few who attended the service to come back to the house for a glass of something and a nibble or two, but today was the day workmen chose to start hedge trimming and shredding right below the house. The noise was horrendous. I expect it will be a day they all remember, in more ways than one.

We have been struggling for the past week. Cag has had catheter problems, and it's not been fun. She really didn't want to have it changed, it's most uncomfortable, but there was no other choice. Luckily we had a nurse who know what she was doing and it was all over in a flash. She didn't have any Instagel, a numbing gel that also lubricates, so I asked her if it would be a problem? "Not for me" she replied, "You'll be at the shouty end!"

New credit cards arrived this morning, to replace the 'compromised' ones. Cag can't wait to try them out, just to make sure they work. I bet she means mine!

Thursday....... nearly a week.

2008-05-15T23:25:00.002+01:00

It's been nearly a week since I hit the 'create' tab............ and I don't feel very creative. There's been plenty happening around, but I seem to have been playing catch-up, trying, but unable to get ahead of the game.

We've lost a neighbour this week. He's been going down hill for months, with a series of complications caused by old age. The funeral is next week, but it looks as if it will be a private affair, close family only. I look around, and most of our neighbours are in their 70's and 80's so I suppose we had better get used to losses.

Speaking of losses, one of my Credit Cards has been compromised. I must praise the Bank. They picked up the problem within 24 hours, phone card top-ups in different parts of the country, then rang me straight away to querie the transactions. So I'm card less for a few days, probably a good thing!

I have managed to get Cag out this week, before the weather changed and the wet stuff returned. We went shopping and she saved £60! Now I have difficulty in understanding the logic of being able to spend money and yet save £60. This has got to be another example of the Mars/Venus syndrome. If I dwell on it for too long the pain in my head will return.

We are planning another trip to see Cag's sisters at the weekend all being well. They might have grandparent duties to take care of, which will mean a change of plans, so it will be a last minute decision. They usually make trifle for us, and I like trifle, so hopefully the trip will go ahead. I'll have to remind them................... about the trifle.

Friday........ the weekend cometh

2008-05-09T23:30:00.005+01:00

I knew this would be a difficult day when the perforations disappeared on the toilet roll.

I had twinges yesterday but was it developed into neuralgia today and has been hitting me every few minutes for most of the day. It has begun to ease now but usually takes about three of four days to disappear completely. Just what I needed.

I don't know if it's the pain, but I've had some strange thoughts today. Juggling only becomes difficult when you use more than one ball.......................... silly things like that. I've even thought about applying on Cag's behalf, for her to become an astronaut in the European Space Programme. She has always wanted to be a star. This way, she would be half way there!

The one sensible thing we've managed today is deciding on a new car. The choice is very limited. Cag chooses the colour and I chose the engine size. The make and model is already decided by the fact that the Citroen Picasso is the easiest car to do wheelchair transfers. It's high, has no foot wells and plenty of room in the front seats. It will be our third Picasso and probably not the last.

The change is not due until October, but the order has to be placed a good 12 weeks before, and that's not all that far away. It also gives Cag time to change her mind. Women and colours!!!

Nearly midnight, and I'm going to have an early night. Cheers!

Wednesday 7th May

2008-05-07T22:35:00.002+01:00

Tuesday, and the day went well. It was a rush, an early start, to get everything done before the hairdresser arrived. Then get Cag back to bed, and get myself ready for the trip to the clinic. I arrived with minutes to spare, was called straight in, and was out in about five minutes. Easy!

The surgeon was very pleased. I coughed in all the right places, and promised to ask for him again if I even needed to have the other side repaired. He said there was about a 30% chance that I would, and I thanked him for that good news!

The weather is absolutely wonderful today, so I took Cag to our favourite Garden Centre. I thought we may return with another orchid........ and I was not wrong! The day also gave me time to see how Cag was coping, now things are about back to normal.

The news is not good. It always happens after a set back. Other times it's been because of something happening to her, but this time it's been my little problem. There are things she could do a few months ago that she just can't manage now. Little things to help me with lifting, or being able to steady something with her hands. Being able to hold an item tightly has long gone, but I now have to move her fingers even for her to have a tissue in her hand.

She quickly gets tired, and will drop off to sleep at odd times during the day, something she would never do before my operation. The problem is that once a step back has been made, it can never be caught up with again, at least in Cag's case. 'Don't use it, lose it', comes to mind, but it's so true with her form of progressive M.S.

Anyway, summer is a'coming, and we shall do what we can, when we can. We are not looking too far into the future, just taking it a day at a time. The serious thing is, we're out of custard tarts, so it's shopping for me tomorrow. That's far enough to look forward.

May Bank Holiday.............

2008-05-05T22:40:00.004+01:00

I hate Bank Holidays. They really mess up the week. I shall spend the next few days wondering what day it is........ and it won't be because of a senior moment!

Tomorrow is going to be a little hectic. An early start to get Cag up and breakfasted before the hair dresser arrives. Just enough time to get her back into bed before I have to leave for the Clinic for the surgeon to check his handy work. Then to the Post Office and Bank in the afternoon.

There wasn't going to be a trip to the Bank, but a slip up on E-Bay has made the journey necessary. I've bid for three pencils (Druckbleistifte) on German E-Bay and didn't realise that the seller didn't take PayPal, only Bank transfers. It's times like this that I wish I could speak another language............. but it would probably be the wrong one. I won them for a silly price and now fear the Bank charges may be more than the items and postage............ so we will see.

Gott sei Dank für Google Übersetzer (that really messed up Spell Check!))))

30th......... and ashamed!

2008-04-30T23:15:00.003+01:00

Yes, ashamed............ well, a little ashamed. It's been six whole days since I hit the keyboard in this direction. Where did those days go?

Sunday saw us taking our first real trip for seven weeks, to see Cag's sisters at Bishopsteighton. The weather was iffy, the journey long, the company good fun. There was sherry trifle and chocolate cake................... and hundreds of pictures from their recent holiday in the Far East and Australia. Literally, over 300! Hmmmmmm.

A phone call on Monday from the vicar in Torquay brought the news of the death of my mother's best friend. Arrangements had already been planned , but unfortunately I shall not be able to attend the funeral. I'm disappointed, because her daughter had managed to travel from Oxford for my mother's funeral, and I would have liked to return the gesture. It would mean a 4 a.m start for us, so you can see why it's not possible.

Bet mum is saving her a seat at the great Bingo Hall in in the sky.

Monday afternoon and a Community Nurse called to do a reassessment on Cag's situation, with regard as to who would pay for the recent care package............ I knew it wouldn't be me. Same old questions, same old answers. Care details, toileting, feeding, general medical health etc, then more specific questions. Swallowing reflex, mental process, communication............. the more detailed, the sillier the answer.

Does she loose consciousness? Not willingly!
Does she struggle with things? Only the pillow over her face!
Does she drink a lot? No, she spills most of it!!!!!

Anyway, the cost will be picked up by Social Services, as expected, as the care given was physical and not medical. Just Social Services trying to wriggle out of paying again. Wish I was a Rate payer so I could be really miffed!

I'm afraid the last two days have been all bladder and bowels.............................. Don't ask! Thank God for short nails!!

24th...........

2008-04-25T22:55:00.002+01:00

I've been missing for a couple of days. Just some fleeting visits to see how you all are. I've been feeling unusually tired and have fallen asleep with very little encouragement. I've managed to sleep through some of the best programmes of the week and woken up in time to see the rubbish.

I've been chasing Cag's disablement benefit today. We had a letter at the beginning of the week to notify us of a small increase and when it would be paid into our account. Of course it wasn't. After nearly an hour on the phone, I found that it had been paid into another account and not the one designated.

Who changed it, and for why, is a mystery. It was paid into the Post Office instead of our Bank account, an arrangement that had been revised about five years ago. Nice of them not to tell us! It's now been put right and hopefully all will be well next month.

I've started making plans for next week. A few jobs to catch up on after my forced 'holiday'. Nothing too strenuous. A little weeding and tidying, then starting a few beans to be planted out in May. I've some power washing to do around the patio but that will have to wait for another week or so. I did all the digging before my operation, so there's no heavy work to do. Just plant and watch 'um grow.

21st and second.....

2008-04-21T23:45:00.003+01:00

Blogger has been playing up. I've had a couple of 'off days' where everything takes an age to load.......... and then occasionally doesn't. I've tried to read my favourites, and leave comments, but it's been frustratingly difficult. I expect no one has noticed, but if you had listened, you would have heard me using the 'F' word more than once.

I'm still wondering what to do about our telephone account. My I.S.P have marked it 'fully payed' again today, and there has still been no withdrawal from bank account. They don't even have a Direct Debit set up with my I.S.P even though I have supplied all the details........ twice. Who's paying? And can I transfer my electricity to the same account?

I'd like to think everything was back to normal ...........down there.......... but there is still an uncomfortable feeling at times, like a dull ache, which seems to act as a warning when I'm pushing it a little too much. I still have to be careful if I cough or sneeze suddenly. That hurts! So I'm being as careful as I can.

I've managed to get Cag out of the home today .................. carefully. It's been six weeks since she has seen the light of day, six stir crazy weeks! She's more than made up for it by choosing some dining room chairs at our favourite furniture store. I recon that all women must have a 'spend to make you happy' gene. She had certainly cheered up by the time we got home for coffee and custard tarts. If only it was always as easy as that.

Saturday 19th..........

2008-04-19T22:23:00.003+01:00

Very remiss of me, not posting for such a long time, but I've had commitments in other directions.

I was contacted by a fellow GenesReunited member and asked about a family line that I wasn't very familiar with. It took me longer than I thought to gather the information he wanted and even then, it's left as many questions as answers. One of those times when a few questions to my mother may have filled in the gaps.......... if she had her 'thinking head' on.

It's also been a busy E-bay few days, several items I've been following all finishing at the same time. Nothing exciting, only pencils, but I did manage to pick up a couple of bargains........ I think.

It was the carers last day today, and Cag is over the moon. No more hoist. I will miss some of them, the sensible ones, but others I will be pleased to see the back of. Caring is not and should not be their business. Back to normal tomorrow....... if we can remember what that was.

I was amazed today. When I did my paper round, on my last call I picked up the post (usual rubbish) and took it in with me. The lady said she was hoping for her bus pass. Bus pass? But she never goes out! Or if she does it's taxi door to door.

"They've all got one," was her reply. I found out nearly all my neighbours have a pass, and not one of them has used a bus in the last five years. "But they're free," was her response to that one. Human nature is a funny thing. They feel they are missing out if they don't get something for nothing, even if they will never use it.

And speaking of neighbours............... we have a new one. A knight of the road. One of life's free spirits.

He spends his afternoons, if sunny, in a state of repose, on a bench a little way along the road from our estate entrance. He doesn't bother anyone, and no one bothers him. Goodness knows where he resides when the weather has a mood. The night time temperatures are still very low. Perhaps I should offer him our spare bedroom now my mother is no longer here........... or there again....... perhaps not.

!2th, 14th and 13th........

2008-04-14T23:05:00.002+01:00

I know, I know, I've had a 'senior moment' with the dates. But the days have been so similar that anyone could get confused. We are longing for every thing to be back to normal..... and then some!

I've done some gentle lifting over the weekend. I've got Cag up in the afternoons for an hour, for coffee and custard tarts.......Mmmmm! She no weight, her eating habits have seen to that, so I think by the end of this week we will be able to do without the carers. It can't come too soon for one of us.

We had some more visits from Mr. Woody. We've not seen his mate for a few days so she may be sitting. I've checked the bushes behind the home for Dunnock nests, but it looks like they may have given us a miss this year. Can't say I blame them. Who would want neighbours like us?

I must get some reading done now. I've been missing out on certain Blogs. Too much happening on E-bay! Never thought I would be interested in such a thing, and still really don't understand how it all works. I'll have to take lessons from my brother-in-law when I get the chance. He seems to know what's what.......... at least about E-bay!!!

9th, 10th and 11th........

2008-04-11T22:17:00.003+01:00

Days are running into one. They all seem the same, just waiting on other people, and time to go by until I am able to lift again.

I have had a little excitement though. I added our telephone service to my I.S.P, and set up the Direct Debit to take care of the charges. My I.S.P is quite happy that payments are being made .......... but no money is coming out of my bank account. I.S.P said it's my banks problem and bank said it was I.S.P's. Now where! Another payment is due on the 14th, so we shall see what happens then.

We've had visitors. A beautiful male woodpecker and on occasions his mate, both taking it in turns to grab a nut or two from our feeders..........

This is mister. You can tell by the little splash of red on the back of his head. His lady hasn't one. Cag has been thrilled to bits and has been keeping me informed of their antics all day.

I did notice a pair of goldfinches working their way through the gardens yesterday, but they didn't stop for long. We used to see flocks of twenty or thirty, feeding then flying, then settling to feed again, but that was a few years ago. Perhaps later in the year...... but I doubt it. All the other birds are busy at the food dish and feeders. Hopefully it won't be long before we see the result of their activities, when they bring their young to the table.

7th and 8th and warnings.....

2008-04-08T22:33:00.002+01:00

It's been a Vivaldi day............. all four seasons. We've had everything, frost, rain, sunshine, hail, a biting wind, sunshine and more hail. Temperatures below freezing are promised for tonight. With clear skies, and the moon on it's back, it looks like the forecasters could be right.

My first warning is don't take weather forecasts from Seeker seriously. Summer just around the corner............ yeh, right!

The other warning is that Blogging can seriously damage your health. There was a small article in The Mail yesterday, which they had picked up from The New York Times, about the sudden death of two prolific Bloggers.

Russel Shaw, 60, of Fort Lauderdale had a heart attack, just months after his rival Marc Orchant, 50, had died of a massive coronary. It appears that Blog sites can pay up to £35,000 a year to writers, rewarding those whose material is popular and therefore brings in more advertising revenue.

Bloggers are swept into a relentless 24/7 competition to out do each other revealing new products or exposing corporate gaffes. One confessed, 'I haven't died yet' but added, 'At some point, I will have a nervous breakdown and be admitted to hospital, or something else will happen. This pressure is not sustainable.'

And I'm worried about only posting twice a week!

April 4th, 5th, and 6th.

2008-04-06T22:11:00.002+01:00

O.K....... first it was every day, then every other day, and now it's twice a week. And I'm talking about Blogging!!!!

It's really because life has settled into........... a rut. We seem to be waiting on other people all the time. Calling to get Cag up, then coming back to put her into bed once more, and again later in the day. I am progressing but don't feel right about doing any heavy lifting just yet.

Time seems to pass so very slowly. It's must be mind blowing for Cag. At least I can get out of the home. She knows it will be another week, and probably a fortnight before we can get our lives back to anything like how they were.

I've had a call back to see the surgeon who did the operation (hope he didn't lose anything). It's not until May 6th but I'm sure it's just to check his handy work. They've sent me a questionnaire to fill out, with marks out of ten for this and that. A chance to get my own back for all that stinging!

One thing that has moved to the top of our wants list is a decent set on dinning room chairs. I've spent a lot of time sitting on chairs recently, rather than lounging in them. It didn't take me long to find out that when we changed our furniture last year, the chairs should have been replaced as well. We didn't like the chairs that would have matched our new units, so the hunt is on for something more suitable.

April 2nd and 3rd.............

2008-04-03T22:28:00.002+01:00

We've got the April Fool jokes over with, although I did have a problem convincing one person I know that the flock of flying penguins shown on the news wasn't quite what it seemed.

Another smoke filled day yesterday, but the sun came out with a vengeance today. The wind dropped to a gentle northerly and carried the smoke across the valley, away from the homes. It was a doors and windows open sort of day, the best this year so far. The car showed 24c, about 75f, so it was me shopping in a T-shirt this afternoon. I half expected to see bikini tops being worn by the shoppers at the Supermarket, but thankfully the young ladies had more respect for my tired eyes.

I've arranged for the carers to reduce their hours next week. I've said that I will look after Cag's washing etc, if they will still do all the transferring. It's not difficult, no lifting, and I have the time. Cag would prefer it as I do a more thorough job than their 'lick and spit'. Might even get a 'thank you'.

I do wish she would be a little more adventurous with her eating habits. There are very few thing now that she will eat, and even then it's little more than half a dozen fork fulls. I do get a little put out having just spent over an hour preparing and cooking a meal to see so little being ate. I wonder if it's because she has so little control over her life, that she goes overboard on something she can control. I'll have to keep an eye on that.

Monday and April 1st.............

2008-04-01T23:28:00.002+01:00

Start of a new week and a new me........... well, a repaired me. I've started doing my paper round to a few neighbours again. Something to do while I'm waiting for the carers and it keeps me up to date with the latest gossip.

The development on the adjoining site has started, or at least the land clearing. There's a massive bonfire which has bathed the estate in smoke for the second day running. Even with the windows closed, it still manages to seep in, not enough to be unpleasant, but you know it's there. Shame they didn't start last week as the northerly wind would have carried it away.

Bit of a mad day today. Carers were late, hairdresser was early, breakfast was a rush, then a dash to get to the chemist before they closed for lunch. Shopping this afternoon, not for very much, we've still got a freezer full that I stocked up with just in case I couldn't get around.

The news from Cag's mother is not too good. She's beginning to fall back into her old ways and is not looking after herself. She was let down over Easter when her carers missed her out on Saturday and Sunday, and that seems to have triggered this latest episode. There's nothing we can do, so it must be left to others.

These last couple of weeks have brought home to me how difficult it would have been if my own mother had still been with us. Difficult! It would have been impossible. I'm glad I did what I did and I was able make things easier for her, if only for a short while, but I can see why other might shy away from the responsibility, as some of Cag's sisters have.................. and I don't blame them.

Friday to Sunday.........

2008-03-30T22:12:00.003+01:00

I was supposed to post last night, but it was beginning to get late when I finally completed all I had to do on line. Then there was losing an hour with the change to B.S.T, but how much better it is to have daylight well into the evening rather than having all the lights on at five o'clock in the afternoon.

I removed the final dressing today. The wound is fully healed and clean. If only the itching would stop. It's not the sort you can do anything about. A sign of everything getting back to normal...... hopefully.

I've still not touched a glass of wine, or any other alcohol, since before the operation. Is this the new me? I thought I might have lost some weight, so I hit the scales this morning. Yep, lost three pounds........... and am about forty pounds richer! We've a new car to order for October soon, so the extra cash will come in handy.

Our ex- neighbour in Torquay emailed last night, with news about the work being carried out on the old family home. It seems that it's being altered into two flats with mother and father living on the ground floor and daughter taking over the upstairs rooms. Two of the window have been bricked up, one to add more privacy to a bedroom, and a kitchen window, so that new units can be installed all along one wall. New windows, central heating and an extra W.C, completes the work so far. All work that was desperately needed.

It was a beautiful day today. Fine drying weather with a brisk but chilly wind. The promised rain arrived with the sunset and bathed the area in that strange yellow light against the dark grey clouds. I tried to photograph it but couldn't get the colour right. Perhaps another time.

Wednesday and Thursday......

2008-03-27T23:30:00.002Z

As you can imagine, I've been taking it easy for the last two days. What with the extra tasks I completed on Tuesday, and the trip to get the dreaded staples removed, I fear I might have been pushing it a bit.

A neighbour who had the same operation two years ago told me that it hits harder the second week, just when you think you are on the mend. It's now when all the anesthetic has worn off, and the nerves are beginning to heal, that it lets you know it's there, especially first thing in the morning and late in the day when you're getting a little tired.

I'm waiting now for a recall, to see the surgeon, for him to check out his handy work. It's still quite swollen, which should reduce in time, so I'm hoping all is well. I think it is................

It was our anniversary today. Seven happy years................. and some so-so ones! No, seriously, I've been lucky..................... and Cag's been luckier............... seriously. Have you ever heard any husband be really truthful about anniversaries? I think not ;-)

Easter Monday and Tuesday..........

2008-03-25T22:43:00.002Z

I am not a lover of Bank Holidays and I'm always glad to get them out of the way. Not that we were doing anything different this Easter, but it always seems like a lot of Sundays added together, and I'm not a Sunday person either.

Today has been different. Lots to do and places to go. A trip to the Post Office first thing, and as a result we are solvent for the week. Carers calling, washing to do and hang out on a beautiful sunny day, then my first shopping expedition for over a week. Not a lot to get and far enough for the first time.

3.20pm and an appointment with the Practice Nurse to remove the staples from the wound. I'd already removed most of the dressing to make it easier and quicker for the lady. I didn't recon with the staples. Nine popped out with ease, but number ten had some how crossed over and would not pull out.

Several tries, then another nurse was called. She tried but to no avail. More tools were brought. I suggested the Fire Service, their Station is just along the road. Then it started bleeding.

They did finally manage to get the 'little dear' out, then cleaned and patched up the area. The staple was unrecognisable, a bent and twisted piece of wire. Twenty five minutes to take out one staple. Did it hurt? Mmmmmm.... just a little.

An easy day tomorrow. Well, nothing could match today!

Good Friday, Saturday and Easter Sunday......

2008-03-23T22:54:00.003Z

I was due to post last night, but blogging faced tough competition, Pride and Prejudice, the Keira Knightley/Matthew Macfadyen version. I wanted to see how it compared with the BBC series of a couple of years ago. It's a story that needs a lot more than 2 hours 20 minutes allowed in the film. No heaving bosoms in A-line gowns, and no wet shirted Mr Darcy after a swim in the lake. It still managed to be a good tale told reasonably well.

I have dropsy. Nothing to do with water on or in any part of my body. It's when ever you go to pick things up, they end up on the floor! And bending is a problem. I'm not in pain, it's very much a stinging, that creeps up on you when your not expecting it. Involuntary actions are also a problem. Coughing suddenly, or a sneeze that comes out of nowhere and give you little chance to prepare for it. I'm sure Cag is shaking the pepper pot around the house!

I've taken the last of the tablet supplied after the operation. The pain killers are finished, only regular Paracetamol have now been advised, and I had the last anti-biotic tonight, horrible tasting orange and grey bullets, so it means I can have a glass or three once again. Yes, I've been tea total for a week. It's not been easy, and there are a lot of very worried wine growers in the world. To all of them I say, I hope to be catching up very soon.

Easter Day and visitors. Two of Cag's sisters and our favourite brother-in-law (he might be reading this) arrived in the most comfortable ride that ever came out of Sweden, nothing to do with Ulrika Jonsson, more a Volvo. Cag had been really looking forward to more company, as it had been a very long week for her, with very little she could do. It was also a joy for me to have more conversation and to get away from repeats of News 24 on the T.V. And they brought chocolate cake!!!

I'm hoping to get myself back to near normality this next week. Still no lifting but I should be able to get out more and do a little shopping etc. These next few weeks are going to be the real pain. As I get better I will want to do more, and therein lays the danger.

Wednesday & Thursday..........

2008-03-20T22:46:00.005Z

It's getting easier, at least for me. The carers have a better idea of what to do and I can keep out of the way. Now I know their routine, I can get things prepared which makes their visits shorter. Cag is still not happy having to use the hoist. I must admit, she does look like a trust up chicken when they are transferring her from bed to chair and back again. But what's the alternative?

I do wish Cag had a better attitude towards the carers. She makes her feelings known about her dislike of the situation. At times she is not the easiest person to get along with. I take very little notice, I know her ways, but to strangers it must cause some concern, especially as they are trying to help us both. I'm sure they have seen and heard it all before, but it's not to my liking.

I felt well enough to drive our car to the Surgery today. The dressing needed to be changed. Yet another lady nurse viewing me below the waist......... and I don't mean my socks. She was very impressed (careful Fi)............. with how the wound has healed. Very little bleeding, no infection, a little bruising but that's to be expected. I've another appointment now for next Tuesday to have the clips removed all being well. Should be interesting.

Easter is only a few days away.

It's not all fun for everyone, especially Easter Bunnies.

Monday and soresday...........

2008-03-18T22:32:00.002Z

Oooooooooooooh! Only kidding. The operation was fine. Everything went like clockwork. I arrived a little early, thanks to my neighbour who hates being late for anything, had a pre-op interview, and was on the table at exactly 2.00pm.

The worst part was the bathing of the area with antiseptic. It stung, I mean, IT REALLY STUNG! There was a little prick from the local (stop it Fi) and the rest was pain free. Plenty of chatting from the nurses to keep my mind off things, and a cup of tea afterwards.

Neighbour picked me up about 3.30pm and we were home before 4.00. Even up to the time I got into bed, everything seemed fine, so I got a fair nights sleep.

Today has been O.K. A dull ache rather than actual pain, and a sharp stab if I move too quickly or try to do anything I shouldn't. So all in all I've fared rather well.

Cags hasn't had the same luck with 'faring well'. The carers have been having a lot of problem in using the hoist and it's been very uncomfortable for her. It is getting better now we've found how best to position it and the sling, but it's never going to be her favourite time of the day. It's not forever, so we will make the best of it for the time being.

And now another early night. Sorry I shan't be able to read my usual blogs, but I will catch up in the next day or two. Night, night.

Fourteen, going on Fifteen....

2008-03-15T23:08:00.003Z

I was going to post last night, but as you can guess by the previous post, Friday was one of those days. I started the ball rolling at 8.45am by phoning Cornwall Carers Support. I couldn't speak to my contact there, but her supervisor Monica was covering for her. I told her the problem.

I got the feeling that this was not a new story to her ears. She asked for all the details, and then said "Leave it to me, I'll get back to you".

Within half an hour I had a phone call from Adult Soc. Care. They confirmed the carers would be contacting me within the hour to arrange a visit, a hoist would be found and delivered by 10 o'c Monday morning at the latest, and that Technical Services would phone, arrange a visit to raise the bed that very afternoon.

By 11.30 I had seen the carers supervisor and gone over our needs with her. Tec Serv were arrived at 3.30pm, and a few minutes later the manager of the carers phoned again to make sure I was happy that everything was in place. Waow!

Monica phoned back a little after 4 o'c to check on progress and I was able to tell her that all angles were covered. She said it was all about knowing who to light the fire under. I got the feeling that Monica was not a lady to cross. I thanked her for all she had done and she made me promise to get in touch again if anything even looked like going wrong.

Now to gird my loins (or shave them) and get ready for the big day. I shall write in ballpoint, just below my naval "BE GENTLE WITH ME".

Thirteenth....unlucky for some!

2008-03-13T22:41:00.003Z

I told you so! Phoned Adult Social Care at 9.00am, and was told that I would get a reply call in about half an hour. I did, to tell me that my Care Coordinator was off work sick.

I did manage to find out the the carers would be calling at the arranged times, it was when I mentioned the hoist and raising the bed height that I got silence. Nothing had been done.

Carers won't work without a hoist, and Cag needs to be out of bed for an hour or more at least twice a day. She can't eat laying down, or swallow very well. I told the new Coordinator that the Community Nurses were supposed to be arranging for the hoist, and she said she would try to get hold of them and get back to me.

I phoned again at 5.00pm. She was unable to speak to the nurse who was organising the hoist, she was not at work today. I don't think the original message had even reached her. She would be contacted tomorrow. I was then told that this new Coord had been informed that a hoist would not fit through our doors, so would be useless. I reminded her that we had used a hoist before in the home, and although it was difficult for one person to use, two carers who knew what they were doing would have little trouble.

I then reminded her that they had had ten weeks to sort out these problem. A full in home assessment, a further nursing assessment and then a financial assessment. There were difficulties found but those could be easily rectified. I was getting annoyed, so I then asked for the complaint procedure.

The atmosphere of the conversation changed. Promises to make sure everything that could be done tomorrow would be, and promises to keep me informed as to progress. I have a couple of phone call myself to make tomorrow, to bring pressure from a different source. We'll see if it works.

In truth, it's not the new Coords fault, but I hate people trying to cover over poor work with excuses, when I'm only asking them to do the job they are there for.

Eleventh and Twelfth

2008-03-12T22:59:00.003Z

Two days of marking time. I've got quite a bit to do before next Monday, but it's that in between time. Too soon to start and yet I don't want to leave thing for much longer otherwise it will be a last minute rush.

I've started buying in for next week, the non perishables, and have already spent a fortune....... all on 'just in case'. I get the feeling that some items may stay in the cupboard an never get used. Either that or Cag will change her eating habits and that will leave me to 'use them up' or more likely the dog.

We've had a visit from a lady who works for the D.W.P today. This time it's for me to have authorization to act for Cag when dealing with different government agencies. She had all our details from there computer system (big brother?). She just needed my signature and to say 'hello' to Cag to make sure she is not a figment of my imagination. Some figment!!

I received a phone call from the clinic practice nurse, to go over with me the order of play for Monday. Arrival at 1.15pm, operation at 2pm, cup of tea and a chat afterwards, and leave for home about 3.45pm. Then the pain begins.

I thought I'd better reconfirm the care plan details for Cag with Adult Social Care. I left two messages and had a promise that I would be contacted either this evening or tomorrow morning. I haven't been contacted by the care team yet, there's no hoist, the bed has to be raised, and furniture moved. I sense a last minute panic...................... MINE!

7th, 8th, 9th, 10th! Where was I?

2008-03-10T22:58:00.002Z

Well, there's a New Year's resolution shot down in flames. My aim to post at least every other day has fallen foul of other demands on my time. I've had to catch up on some long delayed snail mails to relations and friends who have not yet caught up with modern technology. I even managed some correspondence in long hand, brave for me considering my spelling capabilities.

We, like many others I suspect, have battened down the hatches, and sat out the storm today. I did take a quick visit to our village Post Office, first thing this morning, and witnessed the removal of a large tree that had blocked the roadway to our local garage. Apart from that little excitement, and the odd deafening gust, it's been fairly quiet. We've been lucky.

I knew I had spoken too soon when I said that I had the 'all clear' for claims against my mother's estate. I received a demand for £155 on Saturday from the Dept. Works and Pensions. I phone on Monday to tell them that I had already received a letter to say that there would be no claim, and after checking I was told to ignore the demands. I have since written to them with chapter and verse, for I have found to simply ignore a demand from the D.W.P, will come back to haunt at a later date.

An early start on Sunday for our last trip to Brixham, or any where, until after I recover from The Op. It was a good day, a little drizzle traveling, but long bouts of sunshine to cheer us on our way. Cag took the journey well and was able to pay attention to most of what was happening. K played hostess with coffee, chocolate cake, and non stop conversation, so the afternoon flew by. She showed us the last pictures of her husband, a few months before he lost his battle with a brain tumor. We never saw him then, as Cag was pretty well confined to the home after breaking her leg. We hardly recognized him. The drugs had taken their toll. It was a sad end for a very fit and active person. It's good that she can talk about him and in such a positive manner, but I know she misses him dearly.

And now what? I still have the feeling that all the plans for Cag's care are not going to come together. Just a little feeling, but I'm not often wrong.

Wednesday and Thursday..........

2008-03-06T23:05:00.003Z

Two quite ordinary days. A trip yesterday to the D.I.Y store for some large packs of compost to dig into the raised beds I have built, and because it was dry and the wind had helped take the dampness out of the grass, I managed to give it the first cut of the year. It's been so wet recently, there was very little grass, mostly moss, but at least it's green.

I saw the young lady that got me into blogging this morning on This Morning! La petite Anglaise started it for me when she became famous for being dismissed for blogging about her life and work. The original blog was well disguised but her employers got to hear of it and after reading it decided they could do without her services. She's now written a book and if it's a good as her blog, should be worth a read.

I've had a lot of pain today, sciatic nerve problems, which hasn't been helped by lifting Cag around, but there's little choice at the moment. Just take the tablets and bare it. It should clear in another 24 ...............hopefully, as we want to visit with sister's again this weekend.

Mother in law will be home tomorrow from hospital and two of her daughters should be there to settle her in. There's only limited cover by her carers over the weekend but neighbours have promised to keep an eye on her too make sure she is alright. Fingers crossed.

I've decided to look at things in a different way. From now on I will take life with a pinch of salt ............................. a squeeze of lemon and a large shot of Tequila........... hic!

Monday and Tuesday, and good news.

2008-03-04T23:13:00.004Z

A promising start to Monday soon turned into wind, rain, sleet and hail. We were lucky. Others had a lot more of the white stuff, while we just had the wet stuff. Afternoon brought one piece of good news. Wendy, from Adult Social Care phoned to say she had set up the care package for Cag, to cover me when I have my surgery.

Two carers to call at about 10.30am to wash and get Cag into the lounge for breakfast, calling back about noon to put her back to bed. Returning again about 6.00pm to get Cag up for an evening meal and then coming back at about 8.00pm to settle her for the night.

It's not ideal but we can live with it for a few weeks, and hopefully as time goes on, I will be able to do more. Not at first, and I will be careful.

Today was a completely different day. Clear blue skies, with the air so clear you could see for miles. I was bemoaning the fact that I didn't have time to head for the high ground and take in the views. The silver skywriters were so clear you could see the passengers waving (perhaps that's a slight over statement).

Mr. Postman brought some more good news (but no pencils). The Department of Works and Pension informed me that they will not be making any claim on my mother's estate. She is a fully paid up member. Not too little and not too much. I can now close the books and get the final paper work filed. Phew!!

Better news of mum-in-law today. The examination went smoothly and the nurse I talked to thought that everything that needed to be done was done. The doctor is going to see her tomorrow, so there should be more news by lunch time. When I phoned, they had just changed shifts, so were not up to speed on what was happening ............ or was it staff, playing their part by being vague and not giving too much away. Am I getting cynical in my old age?

Our hairdresser called today. We were treated to a 'who's doing what with who and where'. It's better than the jungle drums. She had heard about my op, and the fact that certain areas (H-mm) would have to be shaved. She offered to do the job, but we haggled over the cost. She wouldn't pay enough.

Saturday and Sunday..................

2008-03-02T22:37:00.003Z

Saturday, and blue sky with plenty of sunshine. Far too good to spend indoors, so it was a trip out in the afternoon. Only to a garden centre about 35 minutes away, but it was a change of scene for Cag and an easy place for us to get around in a wheelchair. It's close to the north coast, on high ground, so although the sun looked welcoming, the wind still had a winter bite. I got away lightly, just the purchase of two anniversary cards. Phew!

Today was a little better than the forecasters had suggested, and I managed to get some heavy bedding dry outside before a fine drizzle settled in for the evening. We had been waiting all day for news from Cag's sisters who were visiting her mother in hospital. We finally got the call about 7.30pm, a long day for all. M-in-L is improving slightly. The hospital is hoping to be able to fix the problem without an operation, and should know one way or the other by Tuesday........ more waiting.

We contacted Cag's eldest sister, holidaying in New Zealand at the moment, to give her the latest update. Everyone else seemed reluctant to phone her.............. worried about the cost I suspect. I just get the feeling that all four of Cag's sisters have not the same concern that we have over the recent events, and that mother is a problem they could well do with out. If anything was to happen, it would leave a great gap in Cag's life. She phones every day, if only for a couple of minutes, something the others would do weekly or more likely monthly.

So we wait. I doubt there will be any more news unless we enquire ourselves. I'm toying with the idea of making the journey up to see her, perhaps Wednesday, but only if Cag feels up to it. We will see.

Thursday and Friday........I'm in tears.

2008-02-29T23:28:00.003Z

The weather's not good enough to allow me to do the jobs that are needed in the garden. I've managed a little spring cleaning, but the bite in the wind make it unpleasant to stay out very long. Just wish the grass would stop growing.

Thursday was a shopping day, a top up for the weekend. My cousin came home from hospital in the evening. It appears that a good clear out was all the was needed. It rated 5.7 on the Richter scale, or so I'm told. Thought I felt the earth move!

Friday is a 'nothing to do' day, but with a little excitement. I place a bid on E-bay, and was around to see it go to the wire. It was only my third bid in three years, so you can see how keen I was. With 24 seconds to go I was out bid. I know nothing about how it all works, but I saw afterwards there are ways to place a reserve on an item, to make automatic bids. Live and learn! I'll wait until brother-in-law gets back from his world jaunt and ask him for instructions.

I phoned to find out about Cag's mother today and was told she had been moved to another ward. The nurse's account was that she was a little brighter than yesterday and was sitting out, but would not be home just yet. I was phoned later in the day by one of Cag's sisters who had been to see her, and she said that mum-in-law looked white and ghastly, had a nose drip, was on oxygen, and was catheterised. She also said that she had a job getting her mother to recognise who she was. If this was 'a little brighter', God knows what she was like yesterday.
Two other daughter are going to see her tomorrow, so we will be waiting for more news from them. There's little we can do, the distance being a trifle too far for Cag to travel. We could manage it at a push, and would do if it were really necessary, but it would wreck Cag for days.

And now a sad tale. Cousins husband gave me a bottle of 12 year old Malt, a pressy to him, but he hates whiskey. I opened it tonight .................. and it's corked! The cork has a musty smell and it's tainted the nectar. I've had it with wines, and even a bottle of cheap Cognac once, but in a Malt. Sacrilege!! The only thing to do is to pour it away................ I'm in tears.

Tuesday and Wednesday...........

2008-02-27T23:17:00.002Z

Tuesday, shopping day, not for very much because I had picked up some items on Monday, milk and bread and the like. Spent the evening tidying, then dusting (thankless work) ready for the visitor today.

Our solicitor was to call at 2pm with her clerk, for our Will signatures and to set up Lasting Power of Attorney for Cag. They were early, but we were ready........ just. It a complicated business, and I could see Cag was having difficulties following what was being discussed. The solicitor was very understanding, and we have decided to have the forms completed but to hold the registration until later. I think it brought to the fore, many of the worries that Cag has but never mentions. She thinks only of today or tomorrow, never any further than that. Fear of the future? Perhaps.

Because Cag couldn't sign and a 'mark' was not good enough for the L.P.A, we had to get a pair of neighbours to help out. One to sign on Cag's behalf and one to act as an extra witness. I don't think they have seen Cag closely since she broke her leg about 30 months ago, and of course, they noticed quite a change. It's only when you don't see someone for some time that you can notice a progress or a decline. I'm afraid Cag has not made progress. I see the same look in the eyes of her sisters, and her mother at Christmas time. I don't think she notices, she too busy trying to keep up.

Two pieces of bad news followed this afternoon. Firstly my cousin, who lives two doors form us, was taken into hospital. It was her birthday today which made it even worse. Hopefully it just observation and if all is well she will be home in 48 hours. A telephone call from one of Cag's sisters informed us that Cag's mother had been taken into hospital this morning. It's a recurring gallbladder problem, which we all hope will finally be sorted out this time. It about her third hospitalisation for the same problem. The daughter that usually sorts out mother's problems is cruising around New Zealand at the moment, so others will have to do their share.

Now, what can happen tomorrow?

Sunday and Monday......

2008-02-25T23:08:00.004Z

The trip to Brixham was a joy, and the weather held despite the warnings from the forecasters. We took a side trip to see where our daughter had moved recently, not to call in, we would never do that without phoning, but just to see where it was in case we were ever invited. It's at the top of a very steep hill. By the time we reached her house I was worried about nose bleeds it was so high. It's only a short walk to town, but I would dread having to walk back.

Cag's sister had made apple pie. She had heard a rumour that it was a favourite of mine. She is not wrong! Topped with clotted cream, I managed two portions. Mmmmmmm! Another of cag's sisters joined us for about an hour, which helped in keeping up the flow of conversation.

Cag is unable to follow a subject for very long, her concentration seems to fail, and I find it difficult at times because I get very little other verbal contact during the week. Poor hearing doesn't help, but I often find myself stumbling over words I would have had no trouble with a few years back. It's a lack of verbal intercourse that's the problem!!

"Do you know anything about DVD players?" I shivered. K's player was on the blink. Sound was o.k but no picture. I am not 'up' on modern technology, more a valve person than micro processor, but I do know how to wiggle wires, and that was all it was. Scart plug was half pulled out after diligent dusting for our visit. Phew!

I'd taken up a C.D of John Barrowman for K, thought she would like his easy going style, and she offered several DVD's for us to borrow. One of them was 'Groundhog Day', but I told her I was already living that. We settled for 'Saving Ryans Privates' ............ or something like that!

Hoping for a decent sunset on the way home but just a little too dull this time. There will be others.

Friday and Saturday.......

2008-02-23T22:30:00.003Z

Two very mediocre days, like their weather. Because of our Thursday outing, Friday became a shopping day. I hate Friday shopping, everybody hits the supermarkets at the same time, or so it seems. There wasn't a lot we needed, a little fish for dinner and a few vegetables for the weekend.

Another trip to the supermarket today, Saturday, for fresh bread. It was even madder than Friday. Got back in time to watch Swiss Family Robinson, but wish I hadn't. I didn't realise how that film had dated. Saturday evening television was a bore so we watched Ratatouille, or rather, I watch it and Cag slept through half of it. Very enjoyable but I did have trouble in following the dialogue. As with so many films these days, the sound tracks are often muffled or you have to really 'up' the volume to be able to hear properly.

An early night tonight I think. It's off to Brixham tomorrow, visiting relations. Tea and chocolate cake at three. Good conversation in good company.......... hopefully.

Wednesday and Thursday......

2008-02-20T23:28:00.004Z

Wednesday and nothing to do today....... or so I thought. I think it's been the arrival of the rings that's turned Cags thoughts to the state of her jewelry. It's not that she is able to wear very much of it, but I think it was a case of 'forgotten what I have'! So I spent the early afternoon, dipping and polishing, and then going through it with her to see what she wants to keep or what can be moved on, at a later date.

Later on I took a trip up to the Funeral Directors and bought a couple of funeral plans. The gent that served me smelt of cigar smoke, at least, I think it was cigar smoke. Could be he'd just got back from the Crematorium. Now call me mean, or just careful, but I joined the Co-op a week ago, which gave me a £25 discount on each plan. Boy! do I know how to save money?

The E-bay problems of yesterday seem to have been sorted out. I shall rely on a credit card payment from now on instead of the direct debit I had tried to set up.

Thursday, and taken aback this morning when Cag asked if we could go to Kernow Mills. It's an 'out of town' clothing store, about 30 miles away, towards the boarder with England. It's more classic than fashion, and is popular with coach parties, especially the oatmeal coloured shoe, surgical stocking brigade. Well, we got there, went around twice, nothing jumped out at us, and we left without buying anything, but it was an afternoon out.

The neighbours have been cutting their grass. I suppose I will have to follow suit by the weekend. Sunday is out because we are planning a trip to Brixham, tomorrow is shopping, so that leaves Saturday, and the weather forecast is a bit iffy then. Perhaps next week.........!

Monday and Tuesday............

2008-02-19T23:07:00.009Z

Monday, payday, and we are solvent, at least until I get home from the Post Office. It was very frosty first thing, about 28f, but as the day went on it climbed into the middle 50's. Problem is, the sun brings out the blooms on the flowering shrubs, and the morning frosts burn them off.

Cag choose the evening meal, I knew it would be cauliflower cheese before I asked. I had cauli, and a good job I did, but needed fresh bread so headed for the supermarket. Got the bread, but there were no caulis to be found! Now this is Cornwall, cauliflower county, and this is cauliflower season. Supermarket....... no caulis........ what's going on?

Two new visitors today. A small flock of goldcrests paid us a visit. By the time I'd got to my camera, they had gone. I've only seen the odd one before, never so many at one time, and if they had stayed still long enough, I could have probably counted five or six. I had more luck with the blackcap, or rather the female blackcap, because their cap is not black but a ruddy brown.....

O.K, so not a very impressive looking bird, but not such a common sight in our garden.

Took advantage of a sunny afternoon to visit a local Farm Shop. I've never been there before although it's only about ten minutes away. As you would expect, it was full of local produce, jams and preserves, ales and ciders, chocs and biscuits, fresh veg hours out of the ground, and one of the best selections of meat I seen for a long while. The shop is a hundred yards from the Lost Gardens of Heligan, so it's well used and well supported. We will be back.............. and I bought some cauliflowers there.

The rest of the afternoon, and a lot of the evening, was spent sorting out my Ebay account. I'd signed up for PayPal but must have entered the wrong bank details. I'd missed out an initial! Trouble is, it took an age to find and I'm not sure that's the whole problem now. Thankfully, a seller helped me out and to understand what was going on. I'd hate to get a poor credit rating, even on Ebay. The whole world would know!

Saturday and Sunday.....

2008-02-17T23:36:00.002Z

Saturday and Sunday and not a lot has happened. The weather has been beautiful, both days, with the possibility of more to come. The promised sunsets never happened. Not enough evening cloud. The sunshine has been a bit deceptive, an easterly breeze has made a coat a welcome accessory.

We had our usual outing this afternoon, to Par Market for a bacon butty. Despite the cold wind, there were plenty of sleeveless shirts and bare midriffs. There were those who never bothered to look in a mirror before they went out, and those who looked, broke the mirror, and went out anyway. It's one of those places that you will eventually see the whole population of Cornwall and his brother. We had a ring side seat and enjoyed 'people watching' for an hour or so.

Phoned our daughter this evening, and was thanked for sending cheques to her children. Do I sound surprised? Just hope they put their mind in gear before they decide how to spend it.

Next week looks free and clear. Might give the dentist a ring though. I've a tooth that's nagging and it will probably need attention soon rather than later.

Thursday and Friday............

2008-02-15T23:11:00.002Z

Thursday was a home day. A little bit of tidying and cleaning. I did have to drop some papers back to the Solicitors, but I was there and back in 20 minutes. I spent most of the afternoon catching up on snail mail. I owed a letter to a distant, distant relative who lives in Queensland, Oz. We've been corresponding for about twenty odd years and I keep my eyes open for articles on the pottery she collects in the antiques section of the papers. She collects Torquay ware, and one of the potteries was a few hundred yards from my family home in Torquay.

Friday and I had to go shopping, and I am not a fan of Friday shopping. Matron seems to let all the patients out for the day, and they all turn up in the supermarket the same time as I am there. Luckily the list was a short one and I was home in under an hour. Spent some time on book work, balancing our accounts into next month. With monies passing in and out of our account, much of it not ours, it would be easy to get confused and I needed to get things right in my mind.

I'm just hoping now that the Pension Service get their act together and let me know if anything is owed from my mothers estate, then perhaps finally I can put 2007 behind me once and for all.

Weather is looking good for the weekend and we've been promised some great sunsets. Has Spring really sprung?

Tuesday and Wednesday........

2008-02-13T22:56:00.004Z

I'm a little worried. This beautiful weather is unnatural for this time of the year. We had a taste of the same in February last year, and look what happened to our Summer then. I hope this is not an ill omen of things to come.

Oh the joy the Postie brings. A letter from out Solicitors, draft copies of our Wills, and the statement of accounts............ 'for your kind attention'. Does that mean they want paying........ already? With The Lasting Power of Attorney, it totaled just over £1,000. Not bad for an hours work and a few postage stamps. Feel like I've been shafted, without a kiss!

One good thing about the good weather is the casting off of clouts. Short skirts and T-shirts. Pale knees after a winter hidden in jeans, exposed to the warming sun. Glad I got my new glasses last week.

Shopping on Tuesday afternoon, and I wore aftershave. Well, you never know! Was hoping to get molested, but didn't even get jostled. Am I loosing my touch?

Wednesday, and I took Cag to a large Garden Centre, about 30 minutes drive from home. She wanted to choose a Mother's Day card and it was the most suitable place with the greatest choice. She also bought a Valentines Card, that I had to pick out, for me. At least I got the card I wanted....... but it won't be much of a surprise.

Two good days, apart from the bill, and I've bought another couple of pencils. It's becoming a compulsion.

Sunday, then Monday........

2008-02-11T22:54:00.000Z

Sunday, and 'Oh what a beautiful morning........' I nearly felt a song coming on. A lucky escape you might think! But it was a beautiful sunrise, which made for a beautiful day. We were up early, as we had planned a trip to Brixham, and a visit to another of Cag's sisters.

She hates Sundays and was to be on her own, so we offered to keep her company for the afternoon. Chocolate roulade and some coffee cake, clotted cream, good conversation, a good afternoon that passed all too quickly.

We chased the sunset home, watching the pinks, salmons and blues, darken then fade as the daylight disappeared. It started as a finely painted picture, then a thin wash was added, which blended the colours and turned it into an impressionist's pallet. Nature at it's very best.

Today been spent taking it easy, catching up on yesterday. I did take a trip to the chemist this afternoon, to collect a prescription, but that was about all. I'm finding it takes more time to recover from these days out. Must be an age thing!

Cag has had trouble with 'what day it is' today. She doesn't seem to be able to use logic to work these thing out. I've noticed it happening a lot recently. Sometimes she has been days out, thinking it's Friday on a Tuesday. I wonder if this is a taste of what's to come?

Friday and Saturday.......

2008-02-09T22:53:00.000Z

And they have both been 'easy' days. I've done very little, resting after a busy start to the week.

The postman bought a little unpleasantness into our lives on Friday. A letter from the Dept. of Works and Pensions, asking for a break down on my mother's estate, to see if they are able to make claim on part of that estate because of over payment. They could, and probably will.

Foolishly, I declared to Probate, the exact amount of bank accounts and savings. This was over the threshold on which she had been claiming Pension Credits, not by much, but perhaps enough that will interest the D.W.P.
.
I really can't be bothered by it all. Just send me the bill, I'll pay it, and then I can get on with my life.................. and I hope it chokes them! Next time when my mother dies, I shall be more canny.

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I felt the need for a little retail therapy after all that form filling, so I've bought another pencil.

They are handmade, in turned burr wood, no two the same, and can be made to your requirements. I saw this one a couple of days ago, and had to have it. I showed Cag the picture and reconised that vacant look. She's not a pencil person. Rings yes, pencils NO!

Wednesday and Thursday..............

2008-02-07T22:36:00.000Z

The best day of the week so far. Blue skies and vapour trails....... and you know how much that lifts my heart. A phone call in the morning to say that Cag's ring was ready for collection, and she couldn't wait.

We were only a few minutes at the jewelers. The ring a perfect fit. It was the smallest he had every sized an adults ring and he was worried that it may have been too small.......

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We saw another couple in town. She has M.S and her husband is her carer. She was the welfare contact for the local M.S society when we first came to the area. Could drive, walk, co-ordinate with no obvious problems, but now is in a lot worst condition than Cag. This is a terrible disease.

Thursday and drizzle. No surprise! I had to get shopping for the weekend early as we had a young lady from Adult Social Care coming to see us, to assess our qualification for help with financing the care package needed after my operation. She fell in love with our dog, as soon as she came through the door, so no problem. All will be paid for.

I'm not really a political animal, but the American primaries have caught my interest. I'm interested because what ever happens will effect this country, if not the world. I suppose I'm a Democrat, but I'm not sure if I like either of the two front runners in that race. The Clintons, because Bill will never take a totally back seat if Hillary gets in, and their style of dirty politics, then there's the inexperience of Obama, and the way he gets flustered when too much is coming at him. He'll get plenty of that if he makes number one. That leave McCain I guess. I heard his speech tonight and it was good............ if he can deliver. But I've heard he's not a true conservative, so where does that leave us?

Be very afraid!

Tuesday..... an early start.

2008-02-05T22:27:00.001Z

An early start, to get Cag up and running, in a manner of speaking, before the hairdresser arrived at 11 o'clock. Fortunately, she was a little late, due to another neighbour with verbal diarrhoea. We are her last call, so she had all the news by the time she arrived. It was just left to us to clarify some of the rumours and add decoration to others.

Our daughter arrived around 2pm with her partner P. For the second time Cag was up and dressed. I could see that she was already tired and knew she would not be contributing very much towards the afternoon. I didn't realise how little or how difficult she would be. I needed to discuss the details of the wills and how best to handle the conditions, so perhaps she felt left out, but there was no way of including her in the discussion.

I'm not the best at entertaining guests, other than filling their glasses, and with no help from Cag, I felt a little awkward at times. P is an O'K guy, and at least the afternoon gave me a chance to find out a little more about him, a chance I had not had before. I felt I should have apologised when they said their 'goodbyes', but I will see if I can get in contact with them later to let them know what was happening.

An easier day tomorrow, and it looks like the weather will be fine........ fingers crossed.

Monday....... a busy week.

2008-02-04T23:43:00.000Z

I've only just mentioned Morris Dancing, and it was featured on Fern and Philip this morning. It appears that there is a shortage of young members, and some clubs are folding. I wonder why!

Something else that caught my attention on News 24 early today, was a street survey. The public were asked if these famous people were fact or fiction. King Arthur, Florence Nightingale, Winston Churchill, Cleopatra and Sherlock Holmes. Not one got all five right! Time for England to worry!!

The start of a busy week. A trip to the Solicitors to sort out Wills and Power of Attorney. At £170 an hour, she would have been worth it. Glad I wore aftershave! A little bit of time wasting in town and then calling in at the opticians to pick up my new specs. Perhaps I should have got the specs first, so I could see all the small print at the Solicitors.

Funeral Directors next, to inquire about funeral plans. I had details from about two years ago and should have purchased then. The plans have gone up by £300 each in that time. On to my other home, ASDA Walmart. A few bits and pieces, fresh bread, extra fruit muffins, for tomorrow when our daughter visits. Ran into more neighbours there. Hope they don't think I'm stalking them.

Got home to find that Adult Social Care had phoned to arrange an interview with regard to the care package they are setting up for Cag. Basically, who pays? I'm ahead of them. I downloaded statements last week, before my mother's house sale passed through my account. That should save some questions.

Saturday & Sunday.....

2008-02-03T22:08:00.000Z

I'm still not a weekend person. Weekends are such a waste of time.......... if you're not working. Weekends never meant much to me while I was working, because they were always our busiest time. Long hours and so much to do.

Saturday was a little flat, but the weather was fair, so we managed a trip out, only to the Market once again. I had a few bits and pieces to pick up, and it was an outing for Cag.

The weather today is back to normal for this time of year. Wet and windy. I've spent most of the afternoon getting ready for next week. Preparation for a trip to the solicitors, then the visit from our daughter, to sort out the results of my mother's will. I can't wait for the final full stop.

We said our 'bon voyages' to Cag's sister, now on her way to the other side of the world. I've asked her to bring me back something from Singapore. She asked me what I would like, and I replied that I didn't mind, as long as she had a nice smile!

I wrote a few days ago about have a number of mechanical pencils. I've found some more. Only another two, so it's not a serious increase. I thought it was only me that had a problem but I've come across a real expert in the field, someone who has the bug a lot worse than me http://davesmechanicalpencils.blogspot.com/ . I'm just hoping that I can control myself, and not succumb to the impulse to start a collection. I'll have another glass while I'm considering it!

Friday......

2008-02-01T23:29:00.000Z

There was a commotion in the tree outside our kitchen window this morning. I was washing a few dishes and caught a flash of something big diving into it's tangled branches. It was a Sparrow Hawk. It had tried it's luck at a Dunnock, but it had made the safety of the tree, and the hawk was no match for it's agility in the confined space. There were other birds in the tree at the time, they seemed to know that they were safe from becoming a breakfast. A disgruntled hawk managed to untangle it's self and flew off, still hungry.

Heard about the profits of Shell today. £440 a second! Another headline on the news was about care to the elderly in Scotland having to follow the same reductions that have happened in England, all because of lack of funding. Can't help thinking that £440 a second would go a long way to restoring the balance................. but it's never that easy!

Thought I would take up Morris Dancing. I'm fine with bells, and waving hankies, but in the stick dance, I wouldn't be able to resist in aiming for the knuckles.

Shopping this afternoon, and everyone was there. Neighbours, at least four, friends, some I hadn't seen for years............... but I managed to avoid them all. It was cold and I was only too glad to get home. Things at home have been a lot better today. Next week will be interesting as Cag's sister, her main contact, is off to HK, Oz, NZ and Singapore for six weeks. I might go to Truro.

Wednesday and a wasted Thursday.......

2008-01-31T23:02:00.000Z

Wednesday, and the weather was cold, but fine, so the trip into town was on. Cag wanted another ring, I think mainly because her sister had purchased one recently, and she wanted to 'join the club'. I was a little unsure because it 'had' to be diamonds.

I knew the ring she would have as soon as we got to the shop. A three diamond cluster, a real sparkler. It has to be made smaller, she has such small fingers, but the wait will add to the expectation. The owner of the shop had already included a discount before I paid, returning customers always get a discount, a good policy. And now the wait.

Thursday, and a wasted day. The Community Nurse was due to call to see Cag. She phoned to say that she would be with us in the afternoon. Cag took the call, but never asked when in the afternoon. She knew I needed to get some shopping, but never thought to ask. I hate the term ' I never thought', because I have to think. I have to think about everything I do, where I'll be, what I'll be doing, how long it will take. I have to think for two people, often more, so 'I never thought' is not in my vocabulary.

I spent the afternoon waiting on other people, and I hate waiting on other people. The Nurse arrived at about 4.30pm, too late for me to go out, a total waste of the day. The evening has been somewhat frosty, not outside, but here, in the home. I think Cag realises that a little more thought in future would be appreciated. I've been getting more 'thank yous' than usual!

Monday and Tuesday........

2008-01-29T23:15:00.000Z

It's not that I'm lazy, covering two days in one entry. It's just that now things are back to normal, and we have a routine, very little happens during the day.

A lot of Monday was spent keeping an eye on online statements, awaiting transfers, that didn't happen. A cash payment at the bank was shown on statement an hour later, so I knew somethings or someone was working. A further check this morning, and everything was completed. Just a case now of waiting for January's interest, and I have a final figure for my Mother's estate. Done!

My daughter phoned this evening. She and her partner are coming down to see us on Tuesday of next week. I've already made a list of the things I have to discus with her. I have to do that or I'm sure to forget something, and some subject are best handled face to face than over the phone.

Cag wants to go into town tomorrow. I think she has designs on another ring. She has a need to spend some money. If that's what she wants, within reason, then it's fine with me. She has so little to get excited over these days.

Saturday and Sunday............

2008-01-27T23:30:00.000Z

Saturday was a bit of a recovery day. I planned on taking things easy, just a little gentle shopping in the afternoon. Cag didn't fancy doing very much, so we were both happy.

Sunday, what a beautiful day. Temp gauge in the car showed -2c first thing. The sun was soon shining, the sky so blue, and it stayed that way all day. More please!

Our usual trip to the Market this afternoon, for a bite to eat, and buy some food for the bird table. Meal worms (not for us), dried, not wriggly ones. Robin will sell their souls for them and will even eat out of your hand with a little tempting.

Phoned our daughter when we returned home. Told her I had a settlement figure on my Mother's estate and asked her to come and see us in a week or so. It will give her time to think about what she wants to do with her share, and I need a few extra days to finalise a few things regarding our situation. I'll be so glad to draw a final line under things.

Saw this one today. It's one for the note book.........
Denial is not a river in Egypt. It's an effin ocean......... and we're all drowning in it!

Friday and the visit.......

2008-01-25T22:36:00.000Z

A good sunrise, so we could look forward to a pleasant day, at least weather wise. I didn't delay and got on with the chores so I'd be ready when the 'outlaws' rode in. I'd asked them to phone about quarter of an hour before they arrived, time enough for me to get Cag dressed and into the lounge, so she was comfortable and settled. I needn't have worried. Even after the phone call they were 30 minutes late.

They had spent the day in the area, lunching on a local crab salad in a rather good restaurant at Charlestown, a privately owned port and heritage site a couple of miles from here. They then drove around the Roseland Peninsular, a beautiful area, and found a well know farm shop. They came loaded with gifts, a bottle of cab/sauv, which looked suspiciously like the one I had presented to them at Christmas, a calendar from the Farm Shop, and two cauliflowers!

They stayed for about two and a half hours, good company, but plenty long enough for Cag, who was tiring fast. We shan't see them again before they leave for a holiday in Hong Kong/ Australia/ N.Z and Singapore. We won't be able to visit them on their return, too close to my operation, so they have promised to come and see us. We look forward to it.......and the inevitable photographs.

Thursday 24th and...........

2008-01-24T23:30:00.000Z

The electricity was switched off at 9.02 am. Thankfully the morning was bright, and the sun made it's appearance soon after to last throughout the day. Water for tea or coffee, boiled in a saucepan, never quite tastes the same as that from a kettle..... but we survived.

Our Postman, Sticky Bun (Ricky Dunn) brought some really good news this morning. Now, I have to apologise. I thought that the Equity Company, who held the funds for the sale of my mother's house, would hold the money until the end of the month............ but NO! The money was transferred today...... plus interest....... to my account. Not that it will stay there for very long, because it's already on it's way into a holding account, or will be tomorrow.

I managed to get an hour out of the home this afternoon, to do some shopping. Poor Cag had Radio 5 Live to keep her company while I was out. I caught some of it's discussions on the car radio. It was mostly about the future of teenagers in England today. What amazed and annoyed me the most was, that the English people on the phone-in could not converse in English! Sumfing is verri rong somwear! Why should England weep?

Surprise! The electric was restored, as promised, at 3.30pm.............. a long daaaaaaay! Within minutes, we had a phone call.................... from our Bank, asking me if I was aware that a large deposit had been made to our account, and, was I planning to do anything with it? They never miss a chance. I get the feeling, if I were to piss crooked, someone would know about it within seconds!!!!

Wednesday 23rd............

2008-01-23T22:17:00.000Z

It had to be a clean up day today. We have visitors on Friday, just for the afternoon, so a little bit of polish will make me feel good, if nobody else. Our electricity supply will be off from early morning until mid afternoon tomorrow, to lay in a new supply cable, so I needed to get tomorrows jobs done today. Just the lounge to put the final shine on and then everything will be ready.

Whilst dusting and tidying, I started to count pencils. I have a lot of pencils. I prefer them to Biro's or those gel things. Pencils write uphill, don't blot, and if you make a mistake.........! I counted 32 mechanical pencils and 7 of the old cedar wood variety, all within easy reach. Burrow around and you could find a couple of dozen more.

My favourite, a T.5mm Rotring, part of a drawing and inking set, most used, Staple's own .7mm, or possibly an ASDA's own mb7104 .5mm, supplied with spare erasers (made in China wouldn't you know). Ok, Ok....... so I'm a little nuts about pencils. It's not my fault. A sign of a deprived childhood.

At infants school, mine was always the last one in the jar. The sticky one, the one with the badly chewed end, the one who's lead would break as soon as it touched the paper, or the one that was not really a pencil, more a stub.

I've tried all sorts of writing instruments over the years, and paid a lot for the pleasure, but have always returned to a pencil. Don't you just love the black of a 5B or the lightness on the paper of the 5H? A pencil suits the way I spell ................. and is easy to rub out. Unlike other mistakes in life.

Tuesday 22nd..........

2008-01-22T23:01:00.000Z

I think I may have, at last, sorted out my Tax situation. I've filled out and returned exemption forms on our savings accounts, and contacted The Revenue, who will be contacting my private pension suppliers, so the pensions will be paid gross instead of being taxed.

When it comes down to the bottom line, my only taxable income, other than the small amount of pension and savings interest, is the Care Allowance. I'm allowed to claim about £48 a week. Not bad for being on call 24/7x52. I wonder just how much I am saving the local authority, or Government?................. but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I've been checking daily our Bank Statement on line. I'm expecting the proceeds from the sale of my mother's house to be added to the balance sometime soon......... or am I. It's getting quite close to the end of the month, another months interest, so would I be in a hurry to transfer monies if I were in their shoes? It will be interesting to see what happens. It's like being screwed....... without being kissed!

I phone a solicitor this afternoon, to update our Wills and to arrange a Lasting Power of Attorney for Cag. It's about time we put certain thing on a legal footing. Being an executor has made me appreciate how much easier it has been when everything is tied up and on paper. I have learnt another lesson in the process, keep it simple.

Monday 21st.............

2008-01-21T23:38:00.000Z

A bit of everything weather wise, but did manage to get some washing almost dry outside today.

Payday, but it took an age. Only one lady in front of me in the queue at the Post Office (we still have one!) but she must have been 'doing' for the whole village.

A busy afternoon. Had to make a deposit at the bank, then a dash to The Market House and the hardware store there. I needed a different whisk. My old trusty rusty is falling to bits. Then back to the opticians, an eye test and some new frames. My eyesight hasn't altered but I do need a new pair of specs. Sitting on the ones I now wear has done nothing for their fit and comfort.

The sale at the Clark's Shop was still on and I spotted another pair of eight and a half's. The were a 'glove fit' and at 70% off, a must have. The only disappointment came at the solicitors, he was out for the afternoon, but it was nothing that couldn't be arranged on the telephone tomorrow.

I arrived home and found Tina, one of our Community Nurses in with Cag. She had come to do the nursing care assessment for when I have my operation. She said she could have done it in the office, because she knows us so well, but 'the system' requires it to be done in the home and signatures to be taken. What would we do with out paperwork?

Spent the evening toasting Freebird on her birthday........ as if I needed an excuse. Happy Birthday FreeBird X.

Saturday and Sunday...19th & 20th.

2008-01-20T22:30:00.000Z

I've noticed that many bloggers seem to go missing over the weekend. Too much to do, or is it a case of not being at work, or in the office, so there's no need to fill in the day?

My life really has taken a turn around in 2008. I'm managing to fill the day but actually achieving very little in the process. Saturday I did some extra shopping which we didn't really need, and Sunday I took Cag out for our usual lunch time bacon butty at the Market, just for something to do.

The week ahead looks busy. Appointments, and must do's, income tax to sort out, then a visit from 'outlaws' on Friday. The only problem with this is that we shall be without electricity for most of the day on Thursday, major repair work to our site, so I won't be able to get ahead of the cleaning that may be needed. I know they always say that they haven't come to see the dust, but I know it's there, so.......!

I'm still poised, waiting on others, so I can dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' on my mother's estate. It's shouldn't be long now, but it's only me in a hurry, not the people who are to make the payouts. Strange that I haven't heard form our daughter recently. I would have thought she would be keen to how things were developing, after all, it's in her interest.

Friday the 18th.........

2008-01-18T22:50:00.000Z

Another iffy day. Mild if you can find a sheltered spot but still a bite in the wind.

I spent the best part of an hour this morning, trying to contact Customer Services for two of my on-line savings accounts. What with finding the wrong departments, waiting in queues, being asked to hold while they seek more advice over my questions, and having my ears pounded with tuneless 'lift music', it was not a happy time (reminds me of a dwarf!).

A dental appointment helped 'fill' the afternoon. I was there dead on three, went straight in, teeth checked and out in under ten minutes. The only painful part was paying the £25 to a smiling receptionist........... when it would have been free a fortnight ago. I will make enquiries about finding an N.H.S dentist, but there's little chance in this part of the country, other than that, it will have to be some sort of insurance............. and I hate insurance.

The copy and paste is going well. The Blog should fit into about 60 pages. I'll print out half a dozen pages tomorrow to see how thing work out It will be available in hardback, for only £15.95, sometime this Summer........................ in my dreams!

17th.... a Thursday.

2008-01-17T22:45:00.000Z

What a difference a day makes............ reminds me of a song. A blue sky morning, with vapour trails. I wonder if one of them was inbound to Heathrow from China?

I thought it would be a good day for washing, clothes, not me! I had some shopping to do in the afternoon and thought I would be able to take it in, almost dry, when I returned home. Wrong! It started to rain on the way home and by the time I arrived, it was bucketing. Another trip through the spin dryer and then the tumble dryer. Nothing saved!!

Two bills have finally caught up with me from my mother's house in Torquay. A gas account for just under £200 and an electricity account, or rather two accounts, topping nearly £1,000. They are in fact, addressed to The Occupier, and two phone calls later, these bills have joined the pile of papers for the shredder. It appears that the old suppliers send out estimated accounts to get a reaction from the new owners of the property, and then hope to open an accounts or switch sell.

I'm politically incorrect. I have no time for the 'lefties' that are telling the British public what they can say without offending the odd one legged, coloured, Jewish gypsy, with curly hair. I don't go out of the way to be confrontational, but if it funny and makes me laugh, then it's just funny, not politically incorrect, or even racist. I had a golliwog when I was a small child, so there!

HOW THE FIGHT STARTED

I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are, and slowly the driver gets out of the car in front. . . and you know how you are sooooo stressed that life seems to get funny? Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . . . he was a DWARF!

He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says angrily, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one ARE you then ..........Dopey?"

And that's when the fight started . . . . . . . . .

16th Wednesday.....

2008-01-16T23:25:00.000Z

Troubled by the fact that I couldn't get two on the main channels on the new television, I thought I would wait until I had time to sit down with the instruction book and see if I could find out what was wrong. After the chores were dealt with I switched on the set. Perfect...... all perfect! All the channels, nearly 100% with good pictures. Must have been a transmitter glitch that caused the problem yesterday.

Now I wonder which one of our neighbours will be the next to get a new 'flat screen'? It's a bit like that around here!!

I took the old set to the Municipal Recycling Emporium, or the dump as we call it! It didn't end up in the skip, it was 'saved' by one of the attendants for their own recycling programme. Well, if they can make a tenner out of it, good luck to them.

I've started to Copy and Paste the early entries of my Blogs. They need a bit of trimming and adjustment, but I would like to see what they are like in a hard copy. Hardly Samuel Pepys, or the diaries of Wedggy Benn, or even Adrian Mole, but it's the nearest I have come to keeping a daily journal for the whole of my 28 years.

15th....Tuesday, a promise kept.

2008-01-15T22:57:00.000Z

Almost four seasons in one day. A touch of sleet, but no snow........ and gales of everything else.

A lot to think about after the talk with Wendy yesterday. Cag hasn't said much about it, and I don't want to until I know more about what will happen. I just hope my recovery rate is faster than anyone expects.......... me included.

Delivered the morning papers as usual, only a little earlier today. My neighbour was at his P.C. He switched off the monitor as I walked in, but left the speakers on. Twenty past ten in the morning, he's watching porn, and I haven't even had my breakfast!

The new television was delivered about midday, as promised. That allowed me to do the shopping as usual, then plenty of the afternoon left to tune the new set. It's good. Our reception is not perfect, tree problems, but the digital picture on most stations is excellent. Still can't figure out why there is no BBC1 or BBC2 on FreeView when there's everything else, but still have analogue and digital through the Sky box.

I'm glad I didn't fall for the 37 inch screen. It looked fine in the shop, but would would have been a monster in out lounge. Cag's going to have problems with the zapper. Every thing's backward to the one she is used to. She'll be adjusting the volume and the programmes will be changing. Should be interesting. I leave the room now and when I get back we are on a different channel. I never seem to watch a programme all the way through these days.