Latest update...........

May 1st…………

News from the Hyperbaric Room……… Oxygen Treatment Centre.

It was the worse cold I can ever remember and I needed to be right to start voluntary work with Merlin. I missed out on a weekend away with my family, but I just couldn’t have made the trip, let alone enjoyed their company. I somehow managed to make the last day of training and it was then that I found out that the other operator who had completed the course with me had dropped out. So what could I do ? Yep! A full week.

The first day, the Tuesday after Easter, was a bit of a blur. All of us new at the game, staff and members, then the Press walked in. Photographers, reporters, members there for first time treatment. Thank God you only have one ‘first day’. We survived…………….. just.

Day two, and our fist serious problem. What turned out to be a panic attack half way through an hour long session. Luckily the ‘dive’ was only to 5 metres, but we knew the member had suffered heart problems in the past so we took no chances and had to abort. A paramedic arrived within minutes and immediately put the member on oxygen, something she had already been breathing for the last 30 minutes. He was more interested in the chambers and our set-up rather than the lady with chest pains.

Week two and we found another trainee operator. She’s a recently retired nurse from our local Hospice. Safe hands and knowledge that will come in very useful. It was a five day week for me while the Treatment Manager showed the lady around and went into detail to get her up to speed, but she coped very well and will make an excellent addition to out little team.

I stole a weekend away and catch-up time with family and friends. I managed to see my daughter and grandson; granddaughter was at work. They are all fine. Then over to Cag’s sisters for a planned weekend of auction, bell ringing and antiques fair. Sound exciting, and really it was. Plenty of interest, good company…………….. and a fair bit to drink! On the Monday I dropped into the Exeter Treatment Centre, to check out some of the minor system problems we had run into. I ended up driving, or diving, their two chambers while their operator wandered off for a brake. Interesting.

I returned on Tuesday to another four days of work because our new addition had developed a cold, and that’s a ‘no, no’ where other peoples health is concerned. Thursday, and the manager ‘went sick’, well, not really, just stayed out of the way and left me to run the show. At least they know that they have cover should it happen for real. And it was interesting………….. with no problems............. thank God.

Life has certainly changed. A purpose has been found, and that's not all ???

Another first..............

Another first today..................... and I kept my clothes on for this one.
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I took passage on a bus to the great city of Truro. Quite an experience. Memories of 25 years ago, my last such outing, came flooding back. The hardness of the seats. The way your cheeks tried to grip as the bus cornered. And the vibration ............ hmmmmm! Almost like sitting on a washing machine when it's set on 'spin'............. not that I've ever done that. At least I was colour coordinated, my purple coat matched the seat.
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I had it on my mind to look for a suit. I shall need one for later in the year. I don't want to buy it yet, just in case the Summer is unkind to my waistline or I build more upper body muscle (some hopes). It was good just to wander without the pressure of having to buy and the pressure of the weekday shoppers snapping at my heels.
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It also gave me time to people watch, a subject that never ceases to interest me. Looking at pretty girls, when I should be more interested in their mothers............ or even grandmothers. The mobile phoners, with facial expressions that go with happy or serious calls. People deep in their own thoughts, deep in their own worlds. The purposeful walkers, with only seconds to get from A to B. Those hurrying days are behind me now............ I hope.
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Looks like I've landed the voluntary work at the Merlin Project, helping in the hyperbaric oxygen therapy room. I have to attend two training sessions this week, ready for the official opening on the 14th of April. A little more added purpose to my life. Then next weekend, it's party time. An anniversary meal, and next day, a birthday celebration. Good company at it's best. I'm rather looking forward to that.

So, what have I been up to.................

So, what have I been up to ........................... not a lot ! Not strictly true. I've recently been to an open day at the newly built M.S resource center, The Merlin Project, a few miles from St. Austell. I've been following the project ever since it was first put forward, and now, at last, it's about to open it's doors to the public.

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It's the latest of about sixty centers, which provide a range of treatments and facilities for people with M.S. Over £2 million has been raised, mainly by the people of Cornwall, but there is still more needed ( isn't there always ) to fit out more treatment rooms, hydro therapy pool and conference center. http://www.merlinproject.org.uk/

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I've applied to be a volunteer, perhaps two or three half days a week, doing whatever is needed and whatever I can. It will give me something to do and help put a little purpose back into my life. I've already been called back for an interview, so we will see what happens from there. I know they are looking for people to assist with the HBO chambers. They are rather like diving bells, where M.S'ers can breath oxygen under pressure. It's a system now used in many treatments for a variety of complaints, so it should be interesting............... and I do have the T-shirt. Fingers crossed.

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The photo competition went well. No prizes, not even a place, but the pictures were well received and I was happy with that, for a first attempt. Another judge may have come to a different decision. It's all in the eye of the beholder.

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I've been spending a lot of time at the beach recently, taking advantage of the beautiful weather we have been enjoying. Today I went further afield, to Vault Beach, about 10 miles along the coast.

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The far end of the beach is used by naturist ......................... so it needed further investigation. It's a long climb down and a long walk when you reach the beach. Sure enough, there were about a dozen naturists enjoying warm rays and a gentle breeze off the sea. Now I know what you are thinking. Did he?

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Well the answer is "Yes". I just couldn't resist it. (Sorry Fi, no photos!!!) After a few minutes, it seemed perfectly natural. Even the odd 'strutter', that makes that unneeded walk, there and back, didn't even raise an eyebrow. So there you go, another 'first', and so early in the year.......... but it was a glorious day.

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The other end of the beach. My bit of heaven. Crowded, isn't it?

Now to swim naked............. but it will have to be a little warmer than it is now.

Photo competition...................

It's been a busy few days. Last weekend was spent with family in Devon. A visit to see my daughter first, then the rest of the time spent with sister-in-laws. One of them farms, and the family had been invited there for lambing. I didn't actually see a lamb being 'dropped'. One had just been born before we arrived and the twin arrived while we were in another shed, looking at the other expectant mothers.

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Mother and lamb doing fine.

I've been working on the house quite a bit this week, finishing the repair work to the porch area. I'm now going to part roof it to keep the weather off, then hopefully that will solve the problem of dampness along that side of the building. It's not much at the moment, but it's best taken care of before it causes too many problems. I've also dug and cleared all the growing beds ready for planting in a few weeks time. Seeds have already been started, so fingers crossed for a good strike rate.

I've entered three pictures in our Photographic Club's open competition. Not that they will win anything, but it will show some of the other members what sort of photos I like to take. Mother and lamb is one and the one below is another.

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I've called this one High and Dry.

The final one is something I saw last Autumn, just as the leaves started to fall and the grass started to brown. It's On Reflection, taken with a 'point 'n shoot', so I'm very pleased with the result.

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I'll be interested to see how they are received. It really depends on the judge...................... and what he's had for tea. I shall be happy if they score over 12 out of 20. I'm sure the 'experts' will find a million and one things wrong with them.

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And , how am I? Still not fully come to terms with the way that Cag died, or the part I play in the final act. Still angry at times, annoyed with her for giving up the fight, and yet knowing she had no choice in the matter. I thought I might find the answer in church. It's been a comfort, but the truth lies within me and only I can release, or give it up. That needs more time.

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I keep wondering what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I'm spending far more than is coming in at the moment, but there are certain things that I need, for jobs that should have been done over the years and I never had the time. I'm not too worried about this year. I'm happy to treat it as a year of adjustment, but I will need to lay down certain ground rule by Christmas. I need taking in hand.

After midnight..............

It's after midnight, still too early to go to bed. I've tried watching television, reading, I was going to say hot milk, but I'm not a hot milk sort of person.. There's nothing worse than fighting with a pillow, that feels like it's full of bricks, waiting for sleep to come.

Reality has hit home. It's an age thing. I've had to re-apply for a passport and it required a new photograph. There's nothing that bring home to a person how time has treated them than a passport photo. The shaving mirror never tells the truth, or perhaps you get too used to the vision of loveliness you see smiling back at you............. I jest !

Another tell tale sign was a white eyebrow. Yes, I found my first white eyebrow. They have always had a will of their own and now they are letting me down in other ways. Can you dye eyebrows?

I'm spending a few days with sister-in-law and her husband, this coming weekend, going over the plans for our Russian trip. Looks like I'm going to have to buy a suit, something I thought I would never be seen in again, but I look quite good formally dressed...................... and I can always be buried in it.................. what a thought !

My Laptop has just had a major failure. I get the feeling it's related to Service Pack III which I installed a day or two ago. I could well do without the expense of a new P.C but I just couldn't do without one now. Start, with the Fn key, has run all the tests and come up with a driver problem. Looks like an email to Dell, as M.Soft says there is not an update available to sort the problem. More waiting on others. I hate that.

An early night..........

I must get an early night, and by that I mean before midnight. Twice in the last few days, I woken up at three A.M after falling asleep in front of the television. Last night it was MASH.

So, what have I been doing to keep myself occupied, now I am a man of leisure. Walking, when the weather is right, more than I have ever done before, even with the dog. I've had to buy a second pair of walking boots. The first pair self destructed after about 25 miles. The problem with buying cheap !

I've also bought a cycle. I live a few hundred yards from a cycle trail, so I would be silly not to make use of it. It's part of an old mineral rail line which ran from the town to the little port of Pentewan. There's a beautiful beach there which I fully intend to make use of in the Summer.

I've done some joining as well. A camera club, that meets weekly. A group of very keen amateurs, but a group with many different styles and subjects, which I'm sure I can learn from. And I've joined a local church. My family have always been associated with the church, so I've joined the congregation of a very old little church at a village just outside of town. It's names after one of the Cornish Saints, St. Mewan. I will be glad when the better weather arrives. I'd forgotten how cold old churches can be in Winter. The heating system was probably install when it was built, in thirteen something !

A busy week, with dentist, hair dresser, tumble drier to be repaired and fascia joints to be resealed, as well as usual shopping trips etc. I've also got to get my passport renewed, on the instructions of brother-in-law. We were going to Scotland later this year, but I think that's been changed. It's still his secret, but I know he has an American friend who is a travel agent, and there was some take about Russia a few weeks back, so you never know................ and I'm up for it !

Late at night...................

I've had the joy of watching two of my favourite films this week. Pretty Woman and Shirley Valentine. I don't know how many times I have watched them, I only know that I will take great pleasure in seeing them again................. hopefully soon. Do you have favourite films?

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The closing words of S.V made me think of how I feel at this time. My phrasing.........'I've been a husband, I've been a father, and now I'm me again'. What a daunting thought. While the rest of the country was gripped in snow and ice today, I spent an hour on the beach, reliving a walk of 30 years ago. Amongst the flotsam and jetsam of the tide, my mind was not idle.

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How many people would be happy to have the possibilities I have now? I have responsibility for no one, I am responsible to no one. I owe nothing and am owed nothing. The world is my lobster !!!!

And yet I would exchange it in a second for.............................. well, you know what. But that can never be.

I've had a letter today from the Dept. of Works and Pensions (the D.W.P), to say that they have made an over payment to Cag in her Benefit entitlement. They are wrong, in the respect of the amount of payment they are asking to be returned. In fact there was a small overpayment, by two days, two hours and fifteen minutes. I have replied to their request, pointing out their error and asking them if a repayment is still required..................... and I bet it is.

Here I sit...............

Here I sit, it's late at night, and I'm wondering where the last two months have gone.

O.K, so I've been spurred into Blogging again by two 'distant' ladies who just wouldn't leave me alone. Thank you both.

The funeral went well. A Civil Ceremony, as Cag would have wanted it, rather than a religious service. Music by Il Divo and Patrazio. Eats and drinks by The Holmbush Inn, thank you Nicky. I thought that best, as there were too many to invite back to our/my little home and I couldn't cater for more than a dozen. Not enough cups..................... or glasses, and sandwiches tend to curl if you're not careful..

Christmas was spent at my daughters. I seem closer, and she seems closer to me than she ever was before. She and Cag were very different, so lets say there was tension there at times. She had the most awful cold, so her partner had to cook dinner, and a very good job he made of it. Grandkids were great................. what more can I say.

New Year was a few days with S-in-L and B-in-L. They live in Bishopsteignton, high on the hill overlooking the Teign valley. Midnight we went out onto the balcony and watch hundreds of fireworks from reveler's parties in the houses below us. We joined in with rockets, and a toast to 'absent friends'.

I've been back to stay with them since then. Every few weeks, they visit my M-in-Law to get shopping and look after her accounts, so I asked if I could go with them. She was unable to travel to Cornwall for the funeral, so I promissed I would call on her as soon as I could. Duty done and the day went well.

Now a strange thing. I don't wish to imply anything, but I have a S-in-L who was widowed about two years ago, and each time I've visited Bisopsteignton, she has been there. I've another trip planned for the end of the month, and I know she will be there then. I've also been invited on a holiday to Scotland later in the year, and she has also been asked if she would like to go. Is somebody playing 'match maker' or is she putting herself forward? Now there's the question.

The future? Well, I've been written off as far as work is concerned. I have a small pension which I have taken early. The Government don't seem to want me to work, just to inform them if I find a job. That's how bad it is in this area. They are happy to make my incoming up to a figure that I can live on.......... with care, so I'm going to spend this year waiting to see what turns up.

Those thoughts I had, so many years ago, when I said I wanted to retire at 45 and go back to work at 65, keep running through my mind. Be careful what you wish for. It might just come to pass.

Like Arnie........................... I'll be back.