30th......... and ashamed!

Yes, ashamed............ well, a little ashamed. It's been six whole days since I hit the keyboard in this direction. Where did those days go?

Sunday saw us taking our first real trip for seven weeks, to see Cag's sisters at Bishopsteighton. The weather was iffy, the journey long, the company good fun. There was sherry trifle and chocolate cake................... and hundreds of pictures from their recent holiday in the Far East and Australia. Literally, over 300! Hmmmmmm.

A phone call on Monday from the vicar in Torquay brought the news of the death of my mother's best friend. Arrangements had already been planned , but unfortunately I shall not be able to attend the funeral. I'm disappointed, because her daughter had managed to travel from Oxford for my mother's funeral, and I would have liked to return the gesture. It would mean a 4 a.m start for us, so you can see why it's not possible.

Bet mum is saving her a seat at the great Bingo Hall in in the sky.

Monday afternoon and a Community Nurse called to do a reassessment on Cag's situation, with regard as to who would pay for the recent care package............ I knew it wouldn't be me. Same old questions, same old answers. Care details, toileting, feeding, general medical health etc, then more specific questions. Swallowing reflex, mental process, communication............. the more detailed, the sillier the answer.

Does she loose consciousness? Not willingly!
Does she struggle with things? Only the pillow over her face!
Does she drink a lot? No, she spills most of it!!!!!

Anyway, the cost will be picked up by Social Services, as expected, as the care given was physical and not medical. Just Social Services trying to wriggle out of paying again. Wish I was a Rate payer so I could be really miffed!

I'm afraid the last two days have been all bladder and bowels.............................. Don't ask! Thank God for short nails!!

24th...........

I've been missing for a couple of days. Just some fleeting visits to see how you all are. I've been feeling unusually tired and have fallen asleep with very little encouragement. I've managed to sleep through some of the best programmes of the week and woken up in time to see the rubbish.

I've been chasing Cag's disablement benefit today. We had a letter at the beginning of the week to notify us of a small increase and when it would be paid into our account. Of course it wasn't. After nearly an hour on the phone, I found that it had been paid into another account and not the one designated.

Who changed it, and for why, is a mystery. It was paid into the Post Office instead of our Bank account, an arrangement that had been revised about five years ago. Nice of them not to tell us! It's now been put right and hopefully all will be well next month.

I've started making plans for next week. A few jobs to catch up on after my forced 'holiday'. Nothing too strenuous. A little weeding and tidying, then starting a few beans to be planted out in May. I've some power washing to do around the patio but that will have to wait for another week or so. I did all the digging before my operation, so there's no heavy work to do. Just plant and watch 'um grow.

21st and second.....

Blogger has been playing up. I've had a couple of 'off days' where everything takes an age to load.......... and then occasionally doesn't. I've tried to read my favourites, and leave comments, but it's been frustratingly difficult. I expect no one has noticed, but if you had listened, you would have heard me using the 'F' word more than once.

I'm still wondering what to do about our telephone account. My I.S.P have marked it 'fully payed' again today, and there has still been no withdrawal from bank account. They don't even have a Direct Debit set up with my I.S.P even though I have supplied all the details........ twice. Who's paying? And can I transfer my electricity to the same account?

I'd like to think everything was back to normal ...........down there.......... but there is still an uncomfortable feeling at times, like a dull ache, which seems to act as a warning when I'm pushing it a little too much. I still have to be careful if I cough or sneeze suddenly. That hurts! So I'm being as careful as I can.

I've managed to get Cag out of the home today .................. carefully. It's been six weeks since she has seen the light of day, six stir crazy weeks! She's more than made up for it by choosing some dining room chairs at our favourite furniture store. I recon that all women must have a 'spend to make you happy' gene. She had certainly cheered up by the time we got home for coffee and custard tarts. If only it was always as easy as that.

Saturday 19th..........

Very remiss of me, not posting for such a long time, but I've had commitments in other directions.

I was contacted by a fellow GenesReunited member and asked about a family line that I wasn't very familiar with. It took me longer than I thought to gather the information he wanted and even then, it's left as many questions as answers. One of those times when a few questions to my mother may have filled in the gaps.......... if she had her 'thinking head' on.

It's also been a busy E-bay few days, several items I've been following all finishing at the same time. Nothing exciting, only pencils, but I did manage to pick up a couple of bargains........ I think.

It was the carers last day today, and Cag is over the moon. No more hoist. I will miss some of them, the sensible ones, but others I will be pleased to see the back of. Caring is not and should not be their business. Back to normal tomorrow....... if we can remember what that was.

I was amazed today. When I did my paper round, on my last call I picked up the post (usual rubbish) and took it in with me. The lady said she was hoping for her bus pass. Bus pass? But she never goes out! Or if she does it's taxi door to door.

"They've all got one," was her reply. I found out nearly all my neighbours have a pass, and not one of them has used a bus in the last five years. "But they're free," was her response to that one. Human nature is a funny thing. They feel they are missing out if they don't get something for nothing, even if they will never use it.

And speaking of neighbours............... we have a new one. A knight of the road. One of life's free spirits.

.

He spends his afternoons, if sunny, in a state of repose, on a bench a little way along the road from our estate entrance. He doesn't bother anyone, and no one bothers him. Goodness knows where he resides when the weather has a mood. The night time temperatures are still very low. Perhaps I should offer him our spare bedroom now my mother is no longer here........... or there again....... perhaps not.

!2th, 14th and 13th........

I know, I know, I've had a 'senior moment' with the dates. But the days have been so similar that anyone could get confused. We are longing for every thing to be back to normal..... and then some!

I've done some gentle lifting over the weekend. I've got Cag up in the afternoons for an hour, for coffee and custard tarts.......Mmmmm! She no weight, her eating habits have seen to that, so I think by the end of this week we will be able to do without the carers. It can't come too soon for one of us.

We had some more visits from Mr. Woody. We've not seen his mate for a few days so she may be sitting. I've checked the bushes behind the home for Dunnock nests, but it looks like they may have given us a miss this year. Can't say I blame them. Who would want neighbours like us?

I must get some reading done now. I've been missing out on certain Blogs. Too much happening on E-bay! Never thought I would be interested in such a thing, and still really don't understand how it all works. I'll have to take lessons from my brother-in-law when I get the chance. He seems to know what's what.......... at least about E-bay!!!

9th, 10th and 11th........

Days are running into one. They all seem the same, just waiting on other people, and time to go by until I am able to lift again.

I have had a little excitement though. I added our telephone service to my I.S.P, and set up the Direct Debit to take care of the charges. My I.S.P is quite happy that payments are being made .......... but no money is coming out of my bank account. I.S.P said it's my banks problem and bank said it was I.S.P's. Now where! Another payment is due on the 14th, so we shall see what happens then.

We've had visitors. A beautiful male woodpecker and on occasions his mate, both taking it in turns to grab a nut or two from our feeders..........

This is mister. You can tell by the little splash of red on the back of his head. His lady hasn't one. Cag has been thrilled to bits and has been keeping me informed of their antics all day.

I did notice a pair of goldfinches working their way through the gardens yesterday, but they didn't stop for long. We used to see flocks of twenty or thirty, feeding then flying, then settling to feed again, but that was a few years ago. Perhaps later in the year...... but I doubt it. All the other birds are busy at the food dish and feeders. Hopefully it won't be long before we see the result of their activities, when they bring their young to the table.

7th and 8th and warnings.....

It's been a Vivaldi day............. all four seasons. We've had everything, frost, rain, sunshine, hail, a biting wind, sunshine and more hail. Temperatures below freezing are promised for tonight. With clear skies, and the moon on it's back, it looks like the forecasters could be right.

My first warning is don't take weather forecasts from Seeker seriously. Summer just around the corner............ yeh, right!

The other warning is that Blogging can seriously damage your health. There was a small article in The Mail yesterday, which they had picked up from The New York Times, about the sudden death of two prolific Bloggers.

Russel Shaw, 60, of Fort Lauderdale had a heart attack, just months after his rival Marc Orchant, 50, had died of a massive coronary. It appears that Blog sites can pay up to £35,000 a year to writers, rewarding those whose material is popular and therefore brings in more advertising revenue.

Bloggers are swept into a relentless 24/7 competition to out do each other revealing new products or exposing corporate gaffes. One confessed, 'I haven't died yet' but added, 'At some point, I will have a nervous breakdown and be admitted to hospital, or something else will happen. This pressure is not sustainable.'

And I'm worried about only posting twice a week!

April 4th, 5th, and 6th.

O.K....... first it was every day, then every other day, and now it's twice a week. And I'm talking about Blogging!!!!

It's really because life has settled into........... a rut. We seem to be waiting on other people all the time. Calling to get Cag up, then coming back to put her into bed once more, and again later in the day. I am progressing but don't feel right about doing any heavy lifting just yet.

Time seems to pass so very slowly. It's must be mind blowing for Cag. At least I can get out of the home. She knows it will be another week, and probably a fortnight before we can get our lives back to anything like how they were.

I've had a call back to see the surgeon who did the operation (hope he didn't lose anything). It's not until May 6th but I'm sure it's just to check his handy work. They've sent me a questionnaire to fill out, with marks out of ten for this and that. A chance to get my own back for all that stinging!

One thing that has moved to the top of our wants list is a decent set on dinning room chairs. I've spent a lot of time sitting on chairs recently, rather than lounging in them. It didn't take me long to find out that when we changed our furniture last year, the chairs should have been replaced as well. We didn't like the chairs that would have matched our new units, so the hunt is on for something more suitable.

April 2nd and 3rd.............

We've got the April Fool jokes over with, although I did have a problem convincing one person I know that the flock of flying penguins shown on the news wasn't quite what it seemed.

Another smoke filled day yesterday, but the sun came out with a vengeance today. The wind dropped to a gentle northerly and carried the smoke across the valley, away from the homes. It was a doors and windows open sort of day, the best this year so far. The car showed 24c, about 75f, so it was me shopping in a T-shirt this afternoon. I half expected to see bikini tops being worn by the shoppers at the Supermarket, but thankfully the young ladies had more respect for my tired eyes.

I've arranged for the carers to reduce their hours next week. I've said that I will look after Cag's washing etc, if they will still do all the transferring. It's not difficult, no lifting, and I have the time. Cag would prefer it as I do a more thorough job than their 'lick and spit'. Might even get a 'thank you'.

I do wish she would be a little more adventurous with her eating habits. There are very few thing now that she will eat, and even then it's little more than half a dozen fork fulls. I do get a little put out having just spent over an hour preparing and cooking a meal to see so little being ate. I wonder if it's because she has so little control over her life, that she goes overboard on something she can control. I'll have to keep an eye on that.

Monday and April 1st.............

Start of a new week and a new me........... well, a repaired me. I've started doing my paper round to a few neighbours again. Something to do while I'm waiting for the carers and it keeps me up to date with the latest gossip.

The development on the adjoining site has started, or at least the land clearing. There's a massive bonfire which has bathed the estate in smoke for the second day running. Even with the windows closed, it still manages to seep in, not enough to be unpleasant, but you know it's there. Shame they didn't start last week as the northerly wind would have carried it away.

Bit of a mad day today. Carers were late, hairdresser was early, breakfast was a rush, then a dash to get to the chemist before they closed for lunch. Shopping this afternoon, not for very much, we've still got a freezer full that I stocked up with just in case I couldn't get around.

The news from Cag's mother is not too good. She's beginning to fall back into her old ways and is not looking after herself. She was let down over Easter when her carers missed her out on Saturday and Sunday, and that seems to have triggered this latest episode. There's nothing we can do, so it must be left to others.

These last couple of weeks have brought home to me how difficult it would have been if my own mother had still been with us. Difficult! It would have been impossible. I'm glad I did what I did and I was able make things easier for her, if only for a short while, but I can see why other might shy away from the responsibility, as some of Cag's sisters have.................. and I don't blame them.